The Dos and Don’ts of Holiday Gifting, According to Cool Women

I can usually tell the status of a romantic relationship by the gifts I receive from my partner. For example, the end of my last long-term relationship was marked by a jar of tomato sauce. I got him a pair of brand-new Lululemon shoes he’d been eyeing up, and he gave me a jar of tomato sauce. Three weeks later, we broke up.

Men always say they’re terrible at gift-giving, which I believe is a cop-out.

Sure, some people have high standards. I don’t think it’s fair to expect your partner to continuously buy you extravagant things. However, most women I know aren’t begging for gifts that are out of their partners’ price ranges. Most women I know just want their boyfriends or husbands to take notice when they mention a piece of jewelry they want, to pay attention to the brands they wear, to notice that they’re running low on their favorite perfume. Saying you’re “bad at giving gifts,” to me, is saying you’re not a particularly thoughtful person.

Especially when it comes to surprising your partner — someone you presumably love and spend most of your time with and maybe even live with — you should be knocking it out of the park year after year.

Now, gifting for women can be stressful! That’s why I wrote a comprehensive guide of over 100 products to help you out, but before you go and consult that guide, consult the one below.

In an effort to make sure you are the best gift-giver your lady did ever see, and to prove you are indeed an attentive and loving partner, I reached out to a dozen extremely cool women — from fashion directors and beauty reporters to publicists and even InsideHook’s staff of expert female editors — who offered some grade-A gifting advice, for the upcoming holiday season and beyond. Don’t fuck this up.

The 100+ Best Gifts for Her in 2024

Wife, mom, daughter, girlfriend…we’ve got you covered

General Gifting Advice

Don’t reinvent the wheel. “Stick to her favorite brands of makeup, skincare or workout gear. This might require a little effort like raiding her bathroom drawer the next time you’re over her place.” — Melissa A Vitale, Founder and Publicist of MAVPR

Open your ears. When buying a gift for your partner, our best advice is to remember an item they’ve told you they’re eyeing. More often than not, we’re pretty vocal about what’s on our wishlist — and it’ll be evident that you’ve been paying attention. If you can’t remember, take a peek into their closet and pay attention to the brands. Do they shop one brand consistently? If so, snag them something from that brand. The chances they’ll love it are high. — Jordan Goldberg, Managing Editor for Editorialist

The more thoughtful, the better. “Thoughtfulness is everything! I love gifts that feel meaningful and useful—it shows my husband really thought about me and put in the time and effort. One of my favorite gifts he gave me was a beautifully framed picture of our family — I absolutely cherish it. And since I know he’ll read this, here’s a little hint: I could really use an updated bathrobe! — Caroline Maguire, Shopbop’s Senior Fashion Director

Experiences matter. If you’re not sure about specific products, gift an experience instead. For example, a gift certificate for a luxurious facial or cosmetic treatment can be an unforgettable gift and a spa day is always a win. — Courtney Allen, FNP-C, Canvas Skin founder and cosmetic dermatology expert

Don’t buy her something she would already buy for herself. “My favorite gifts are the items that are just a little too expensive for me to rationalize purchasing for myself. Like a set of Lunya pajamas or a Flamingo Estate candle.” — Elisabeth Chambry, Director of Commerce and Partnerships

Prioritize quality over trends. “It can be tempting to buy the It product of the moment, but focus on timeless, high-quality products from reputable brands. Women appreciate thoughtful choices that show effort.” — Allen

Don’t make her ask for something. “My favorite gifts to receive from my partner are the ones I didn’t have to ask for. Whether it’s replacing my favorite perfume because he can see that I’m low, or surprising me with a cute bag that I mentioned in passing months prior, it always feels so much more thoughtful. Sticking to a Christmas list is easy — show her you’ve been paying attention all year long instead,” — Lindsay Rogers, Travel Editor

To reiterate: Pay attention. “Even to small off-handed comments, because more likely than not, I’m going to drop a hint about something I want and hope that it lands. Then it’s up to you to get it. — Hanna Agro, Associate Editor

The Best Personalized Gifts for Women

Some of the most thoughtful gifts you can give this year

When gifting style items…

Know their size. “Sizing is so important to get it right. Do a little detective work — know her shoe size, her height, her general fit preferences. Take advantage of sizing charts for shoes and model fit details to guide you. It’ll make all the difference. Trust me, the wrong size can lead to some awkward moments.” — Maguire.

This isn’t about you. “Don’t buy something you want to see her in. The gift isn’t about you — it’s about her! Think about her personal style, what she’s comfortable in, and what makes her feel amazing. That’s the sweet spot. Stick to brands and styles you know she loves, this isn’t the time to experiment.” — Maguire.

A cashmere sweater is always a good idea. “I love not having to buy my own clothes, but there are certain articles of clothing that I wouldn’t want my partner attempting to buy for me. Women’s sizing is a minefield and even I have a confuzzling time guessing my jeans size across retailers. It’s why I think a sweater, particularly one constructed from a luxurious fabric, is a safe bet. Retailers like Everlane and Buck Mason offer some of my favorite styles.” — Logan Mahan, Commerce Editor

A gift card can be a suitable gift, when done right. “As long as it’s tacked onto an additional, more thoughtful gift, I think a gift card to one of their favorite stores is a perfectly fine move. This way, she can shop for what she needs and no one has to worry about getting the fit wrong.” — Mahan

Lululemon Belt Bag: The Ultimate Gift for the Fitness Fanatic

The crossbody/fanny pack hybrid is an internet favorite for a reason

When gifting jewelry…

Avoid the jewelry cliches. “Hearts and infinity signs, most notably. If she hasn’t purchased those silhouettes for herself, they’re probably not her style. Instead, go with classics like a tennis bracelet or necklace that will look good with all the pieces in her everyday stack. — Goldberg

Never underestimate the power of fine jewelry. “Leave the gold-filled and costume jewelry alone — she can buy that for herself anytime! I’m talking solid gold and precious stones, you guys. And just in case you were wondering, natural stones are amazing, but lab-created are just as good.” — Amanda Gabriele, Senior Editor

Take a peek in her jewelry box. “When buying the woman in your life jewelry — or anything, really — it’s important to stop and think about what her tastes are before you wind up throwing down a significant chunk of cash on a piece that she’ll never wear. Ask yourself: does she typically wear gold or silver? Does she prefer big statement pieces or a more dainty, understated look? What’s her ring size? Does she even usually wear rings, or is she more of a necklace girl? Being tuned in to her style doesn’t just prevent you from buying something she hates; it reminds her that you’re thoughtful and attentive. — Bonnie Stiernberg, Managing Editor

Know her ring size. “I would suggest borrowing one of your partner’s rings. Choose one with a similar width to the ring you’re considering and ensure it’s for the same finger.” — Kara Yoo, Designer

Take It From a Woman: Read This Before Buying Jewelry for Your Partner

We spoke with jewelry designer Kara Yoo about the dos and don’ts when buying glistening jewels for your beloved

When gifting beauty or skincare products…

Don’t guess, do your research. “When buying skincare or beauty products, don’t rely on guessing her preferences. Look for clues: What products does she already use? Does she follow certain brands on Instagram or talk about trying something new? When in doubt, ask a close friend or family member for advice.” — Allen

Book a spa treatment. “We’re all stressed, and spa services are expensive. Gifting a spa treatment is a great way to show that you appreciate your partner, that you love them, and you think they deserve to be pampered. This is what I’d want to be gifted.” — Audrey Noble, writer and beauty reporter

Steer clear of anti-aging products. “Unless she’s expressed interest, it can send the wrong message.” — Allen

When in doubt, gift the Dyson Airwrap. “Gifting your partner the holy grail of all hot tools is the equivalent of saying you want to be exclusive. It’s a grand gesture that shows commitment in the form of a $600 hair tool.” — Noble

Avoid missteps in fragrance or shade matching. “Unless you know her signature fragrance or favorite lipstick shade, steer clear of these categories. A mismatch can feel impersonal or even stressful for the recipient.” — Allen

However, if you know her favorite scent … “A fragrance is extremely personal. This could easily go wrong if you aren’t privy to what scents your partner actually likes, but if you know them well enough, or are able to tie a scent to a memory or a special place you both share, it can be a really sweet and thoughtful gift. If they offer engravings, opt for this for a more personal touch.” — Noble

The Best Women’s Gifts Under $100

And $75…and $50…and $25

When gifting sexual wellness products …

Go extravagant. “If you’re gifting a sex toy, think of something that’s a show-stopper, not something mundane that you could pick up at the drugstore. I’m biased, but ZALO is a great brand to look for because they’re designed to be as beautiful as functional. That said, I’ve gifted this brand to probably hundreds of people and always get rave reviews from the recipient.” — Vitale

Keep her pleasure in mind. “Pay attention to what your partner has shared she’s interested in trying or needing. Whether that’s a CBD-infused lube to heighten sensation, a vibrating penis ring that makes penetration more pleasurable for her or a pillow to make certain positions more comfortable. When gifting sexual wellness products, unless it’s something she specifically asked for, it’s always a nice touch to let her know that you wanted to gift her something experiential with her pleasure in mind. — Natassia Miller, Founder of Wonderlust and Sexologist

… not yours. “Don’t gift something that is clearly for your pleasure only, or that has been a source of tension for you two in the past. Save that purchase for another occasion when you discuss and agree that it’s something she wants to try as well.” — Miller