Whether I was single, in a committed relationship or casually dating, I felt the same way about Valentine’s Day every time February 14th came rolling around: Everyone is making this holiday a much bigger deal than it needs to be.
On one side, you have the unrelenting V-Day cranks. The Hallmark holiday naysayers. The “I know nobody likes me. Why do we have to have a holiday season to emphasize it?” Charlie Brown-ers. For the romantically unattached, I understand that every CVS you walk into this time of year is a fluorescent, heart-shaped candy reminder of your singlehood, but this is where corporate propaganda has led us all astray. Valentine’s Day shouldn’t solely be a celebration of romantic love, but love in all forms!
The 30 Best Valentine’s Day Gifts for Her
Yes, you just bought her a gift a month ago, and yes, you have to buy her another right now. We got you, though.On the other hand, though, you have those couples that are a little too into Valentine’s Day (or one partner is and the other is being held hostage by cupid’s arrow). This can make an otherwise casual celebration stressful for couples: Booking the hard-to-get dinner reservations, finding the perfect gift, making sure those flowers arrive on time.
There are a lot of moving parts when it comes to planning the perfect Valentine’s Day — but what parts are actually necessary to ensure both you and your partner have an enjoyable, romantic time? To find out, I consulted the most knowledgeable people I know: The women I work with.
Below, you’ll find a comprehensive guide on how to approach Valentine’s Day this year, courtesy of the women of InsideHook. You can thank us on February 15th.
DO: Find out how your partner feels about the holiday
Valentine’s Day has never been my favorite, and when I met my husband, I found out he hates the pomp and circumstance of it, too. So we both agreed to kind of ignore it because neither of us cares. But if your partner is into it, DO NOT be a curmudgeon. It’s a bad look to turn down a chance to celebrate if it means something to them. — Amanda Gabriele, Senior Editor
DON’T: Overspend on a mediocre dinner
Just like a lot of other holidays, going out for Valentine’s Day is kind of a mess. Many restaurants have “special” pre-fixe menus that probably aren’t showing off the kitchen’s best work. Either go all out for a restaurant experience you know is going to be excellent, or opt for a romantic dinner at home. Cooking for someone is much more thoughtful anyway. — A.G.
DO: Buy nice flowers (emphasis on nice)
This is an absolute non-negotiable, if not the bare minimum. Do not be that guy who buys cheaply wrapped, sparse, half-dead grocery flowers (we can tell). Get a big fat bouquet from an artisanal flower shop. Pick yours up early in the day so you’re not left with wilting, evening leftovers. Find out your partner’s favorite flowers or go classic with roses. — Zoe de Leon, Social Content Coordinator
DON’T: Forget the card
I am a sucker for a handwritten card — there is something so romantic and special about having your partner’s feelings put into words (for me to keep!). The message doesn’t have to be long, but make sure it’s thoughtful and personal. Valentine’s Day is the one day you can get away with being sappier than usual. — Z.L.
DO: Personalize your gifts
Gifts certainly do not make or break Valentine’s Day, and flowers are always a great go-to, but consider getting her something a bit more personalized for her interests and break out of cliches. It doesn’t have to be anything over the top. Something as simple as stocking up on her favorite coffee or makeup products can go a long way. She’ll appreciate the fact that you took notice of her interests, which makes all the difference compared to a gift that’s more generic. — Joanna Sommer, Editorial Assistant
DON’T: Look like a total slob
There’s nothing hotter than a man in a stylish, put-together outfit. Wear an outfit that you love or an outfit that you know she loves. Even if you’re planning on just sitting at home, put on the plaid pajama pants or gray sweatpants that you know she finds attractive. Trim your beard. Put on cologne. You don’t want to look like this guy or this guy on a night where you’re hoping she’s DTF. — J.S.
DO: Let all the people you love know you love them
Though marketed as a “romantic” holiday, let’s remember that love comes in all forms. Whether you’re looking for an excuse to stick it to the man of mass consumerism or just haven’t said it in a while, here you go. Call your family and actually say you love them. Text your friends nearby and remind them why you like keeping ‘em around. FaceTime someone you know might be lonely. Spread the love, people! — Olivia Sheehy, Art Director
DON’T: If you’re single, plan a date for the sake of the day
There’s no need to entertain the “I’m going to die alone” spiral. Lose the overwrought melodrama and resist the temptation to find something (or someone) to do just because it’s Valentine’s Day. The right person will come when the time is right—and until then, you’ve got a whole lot of bangin’ things to focus on. Like, yourself. — O.S.
DO: Get her an experience
Jewelry and flowers are classic, but if you’re looking to change it up a bit this year, take the money you would have spent on a tangible gift and put it towards some sort of romantic experience you two can share. Maybe it’s a fancy dinner, or tickets to a show, or a couples’ massage at a spa. A great, thoughtful gift doesn’t have to be something you can physically hold on to, and especially if her love language is quality time, she’ll prefer the memories. — Bonnie Stiernberg, Managing Editor
DON’T: Get her a stuffed animal
I wrote about this a few years ago, but it bears repeating: Please, for the love of god, do not buy your adult wife or girlfriend a teddy bear for Valentine’s Day. It’s weird and infantilizing, it’s just gonna collect dust on a shelf somewhere until she throws it out and it screams “I just picked this up from CVS five minutes ago on my way home.” You can do better than this, I promise. — B.S.
DON’T: Lean too far into the kitsch
I love Valentine’s Day and understand better than most how difficult it can be to not fall victim to the pageantry and trappings of it all. (I’ve only purchased one set of pink and red Italian-inspired twister taper candles so far, thank you very much.) That said, when it comes to celebrating, I still like all the same things that I like the other 364 days of the year. In other words, if she likes wild flower bouquets, understated jewelry and quiet, intimate dining experiences? Don’t surprise her with roses, a giant heart pendant and a reservation at a foil balloon-filled restaurant teeming with wannabe influencers. — Lindsay Rogers, Travel Editor
DO: Surprise her
Make a reservation at that new cocktail bar she’s been wanting to try without her knowing, or slip a handwritten note into her work bag for her to find. There’s nothing more romantic than staying one step ahead of her, particularly if she’s used to being the planner in the relationship. — L.R.
DO: Make her feel loved
Valentine’s Day is a chance to slow down and focus on what matters most—your connection. While love should be expressed every day, use the holiday to share an earnest, heartfelt moment with your partner. Whether you’re going all out or skipping the celebration, take time to sit together and truly appreciate each other. It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement—or dread—of the day, but a sincere expression of love will always outshine grand gestures. — Elisabeth Chambry, Director of Commerce and Partnerships
DON’T: Dismiss the holiday altogether as a money grab made by capitalism
Just because it’s true doesn’t mean we need to hear it every year. Yes, Valentine’s Day is another time we consume for “no reason,” but it’s not really about the day or the holiday itself. The point is that a lot of people get to feel special on or around Valentine’s Day. Dismissing your partner’s need to feel loved—especially on a day where others are being celebrated—can feel hurtful. Instead, focus on making them feel seen and appreciated, even in the simplest ways. — E.C.
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