Buy the $90,000 Sleep Pod of Your Claustrophobic Nightmares on Amazon

They really should've put an interior handle on this thing

By Tanner Garrity

 
Buy the $90,000 Sleep Pod of Your Claustrophobic Nightmares on Amazon
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13 April 2018

Sometimes you stumble upon a corner of the internet that makes the rest of it — ad pop-ups, Twitter wars, Russian spies bartering with data companies for the ammo they need to unsettle American democracy — all worth it.

The Relaxman Relaxation Capsule, a $90,000 Swiss-designed sleep pod that promises a waterbed in a dark, temp-regulated shell, is one such corner.

Seriously: the reviews for this pod, the price of which has inexplicably been upped $40,000 over the last three years (might explain that #1,997,590 ranking in Amazon’s Health & Household sector), are a shining beacon of online comedy writing.

The aggressive pricing model is one source of the humor. Another relates to a structural component: the pod apparently lacks an interior handle, inviting customers to postulate on the levels of relaxation they'd be able to achieve while locked inside of an oversized shoebox with no means of escape.

Reviewer M. Bonheim: “I really love this product … It is roomy enough to bring my laptop inside and I especially like the fact that it doesn't block wifi signals, because there is no interior handle. Please send someone, quickly.”

Steven Jimenez: “Hit the ‘buy now with 1 click’ button accidentally. Greatest mistake of my life.”

bhb: “I like the name ‘Relaxman.’ That’s what I told my wife when she learned the bank account was empty.”

Heyo!

And Darkwing Duck brings us home: “They really need to put a handle on the inside … In other news, Grandpa's been in there for over a week now and likes it so much he won't come out.”

Feel free to explore the reviews page yourself; trust us, it only gets better. And if you’re still craving the therapeutic relaxation that was promised, consider dragging a mattress into a closet and putting on Enya.

You'll save yourself a grand, or 90.

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