Coronavirus lockdowns have meant a long, potentially indefinite dry spell for many singles around the world. Two months in, the sexlessness has become so dire that Dutch officials are actually encouraging singles to select a quarantine sex buddy with whom to ride it out.
From the people who brought you “skin hunger” comes its antidote: a quarantine fuck buddy. Updated guidance from the Dutch National Institute for Public Health and the Environment (RIVM) suggests single people strike up a friends-with-benefits arrangement for the duration of the lockdown, the BBC reported.
As in any successful friends-with-benefits relationship, clear communication and boundaries are key, with the RIVM suggesting quarantine sex partners discuss a plan to limit the chance of spreading the virus. “For example, meet with the same person to have physical or sexual contact (for example, a cuddle buddy or ‘sex buddy’), provided you are free of illness,” said the new RIVM guidelines. “Make good arrangements with this person about how many other people you both see. The more people you see, the greater the chance of (spreading) the coronavirus.”
As of May 16, however, the guidelines have reportedly dropped the terms “cuddle buddy” and “sex buddy,” according to Dazed.
The guidelines also encourage singles not to write off the benefits of “sex with yourself or with others at a distance,” as if anyone needed to be reminded about masturbating after spending two months inside with nothing to do.
Under the Netherlands’ “intelligent lockdown,” citizens have already been allowed three visitors into their homes at any given time provided they remain 1.5 meters apart, but the government-sanctioned fuck-buddy clause was added after it occurred to officials that “it makes sense that as a single (person) you also want to have physical contact.”
And while singles in the Netherlands enjoy their government-sanctioned fuck buddies, uncoupled quarantiners in the US will have to be satisfied with tentatively Fauci-sanctioned Tinder hookups.
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