Stop Pretending to Be Excited That Atari Is Coming Back From the Dead

It sucked then. It still sucks now.

By Evan Bleier

 
Stop Pretending You're Excited That Atari Is Getting a Reboot
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12 June 2017

Think about the 1980s. Now take off your nostalgia-tinted glasses and do it again.

The music: Pretty good. The movies: Not bad at all. The Atari system: Worse than the hair.

Show your humble correspondent someone who thinks they’ll enjoy playing a revamped classic Atari —  like the one AtGames is launching this fall — for more than 30 seconds and I’ll show you someone who’s spent the same amount of time thinking about it. A bit of nostalgia is fine, and perhaps will even make you a healthier person, but being nostalgic about things that kind of sucked in the first place defeats the purpose. Not only did the original Atari produce images that were pixelated as all hell, it had controllers that were hard to use and games so weak that 700,000 copies of one of them had to be buried in a landfill.

Going out of your way to play an Atari when there are so many superior options are at your fingertips is like opting to take a tricycle for a ride when a Corvette with wifi and touchscreens is available.

There’s a reason you’re nostalgic for the chocolate-chip cookies your nan used to make: They were good.

Atari wasn’t.

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