Germany’s Annual Sexy Carp Calendar Is the Only Reason to Look Forward to 2017

Friends, at some point a few short years ago, someone in this world — in Germany, actually, unsurprisingly — organized a meeting, sat down, fingered the rim of their coffee/tea/Diet Coke cup and announced:

“We gotta sex up our carp calendar.” 

And this is what they came up with. 

Don’t get us wrong. We love a synechdoche in the form of a carp calendar as much as anybody. And if 2016 can be divided into two modes — tragic-tragic and tragic-comic — well, this cetainly just nailed the second one.

This is the 2017 Carponizer calendar. It’s about $20, and available on Amazon. It’s worth checking out if for no other reason than the shot of one blonde model wearing nothing but an American flag and a fish.

Our favorite look, by the way, is the model, seen above, with the gong over her lady parts.