16 Gifts for the Sophisticated Stoner
'Tis the season to get absolutely baked.
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Stoners are complex individuals. Plagued by stereotypes of laziness and perceived as having a lack of motivation, they’re perpetually misunderstood. But the stoners of today are not solely of the Jeff Spicoli and Dazed and Confused variety, wayward teenagers still yet to embark on their lives. Rather, today’s stoners are often highly-functional and successful adults who just so happen to enjoy the frequent joint or bong rip.
Just as the stoner has evolved, so too have the means and methods by which they smoke or ingest the herb. Gone (hopefully) are the days of rigging an apple into a makeshift pipe or painstakingly cutting up a nug, as there now exists a wide market of high-end, aesthetically pleasing weed-related products —at first glance, a ton of the best stoner gifts look like they have nothing to do with getting zooted.
So if there’s a toker in your life (or someone you suspect is one), gift them something that will elevate the experience of getting baked, blitzed and blazed. Because if you can’t gift someone weed, at least gift them something that is sure to enhance the activity, whether it’s a pipe that resembles a sculpture or an always-reliable lighter. And who knows — maybe they’ll let you partake with them as a thank you.
Upgrade those amateur weed brownies with Levo’s Levo II, the first infuser to streamline herbal infusion from start to finish, allowing one to infuse everything from salad dressings to scented candles. Who knows what kinds of cannabis cuisines some stoner will concoct with this bad boy?
Houseplant Gloopy Ashtray By Seth
Chances are, you stonee (stoner/gifteee) probably admires some of the finer things in life: Cool Ranch Doritos, Bohemian prints and of course, stoner god himself Seth Rogan. Well, now you can bestow a little piece of Rogan to your elevated compadres with the Gloopy Ashtray, a Seth-designed, gloopy-glazed ash well that’s hand-crafted in Westminster, CO and limited to just 525 pieces. It’s the ultimate stoner gift, especially considering it comes with a certificate of authenticity signed and numbered by Rogan himself.
Vessel Mill Grinder
The 3-piece, precision-engineered aluminum — complete with luxurious wood inlay — Mill Grinder makes prep as easy as pie, with an easy-close magnetic lid and a scraper to further help keep things tidy.
Session Goods Everyday Bong
Session Goods’ streamlined gear is proof that not all weed products have to skew frat-rat. Their best-selling bong has a minimalist aesthetic and easy-to-clean functionality and is certainly the most mature way we’ve found to partake in the ripping of fat clouds.
Eddie Parker Table Top Lighter
As much a centerpiece as it is a lighter, Eddie Parker’s stunning acrylic design is hand-poured and placed atop a gorgeous matching ashtray, paying homage to the classy table top lighters of yore. Seriously, there’s never been a chicer way to blaze up — or a better gift to give.
Dad Grass Hemp CBD Pre-Rolled Joints
While not actually weed, Dad Grass’s CBD joints will lend one the same relaxed and mellowed out feeling marijuana often provides, thanks to the 100% organic hemp used. It’s the perfect alternative for when you want to take the edge off, without fear of getting absolutely high out of your mind.
Malin+Goetz Cannabis Eau de Parfum
Marijuana is a potent fragrance that sticks, and if you know of someone that tends to walk around reeking of the reefer, gift them Malin+Goetz’s cannabis-scented perfume. Think of it as a subtle way of telling them they smell a little too strongly of the herb, without robbing them completely of the smell. The cannabis scent is offset by floral notes and black pepper, creating a fragrance that’s earthy and just slightly reminiscent of the plant by which it’s inspired.
Shine 24K Gold Rolling Papers
Yes, $40 is a lot for rolling papers, but these aren’t your run-of-the-mill gas station papers. No, these are 24K gold rolling papers and should thus be used sparingly, say for a celebratory or holiday joint.
Veil OG Odor Eliminator
Not everyone has the luxury of comfortably and freely smoking within the comfort of their own home, or maybe some just want to be respectful of those who choose not to partake. Veil’s OG spray is formulated to eliminate any dank cannabis odor, thanks to the powerful notes of sweet orange, cracked black pepper and Virginia Cedar. You’re room will smell so good and weed-free you’ll forget you even smoked in the first place (except for how high you are, of course).
Sackville & Co. Gilded Grinder
A grinder is one of the most important components in any stoner’s arsenal, so gift them one that’ll last them for years, while simultaneously looking like a Brancusi sculpture. Sackville & Co.’s Gilded Grinder features diamond-sharp teeth for a faster grind that in turn yields a finer dust, which will collect nicely in the wide, deep-set bowl at the bottom. Besides, this grinder is so nice they won’t feel the need to stash it away in the company of guests but will instead want to display it proudly.
Tetra Elbow Pipe
If there ever was a pipe that looked like anything but a pipe, it would be this one by Tetra. This delicate glass piece designed by Ninon Choplin of neenineen allows the user to watch the smoke billow inside with each puff, thanks to the transparent teal glass, and thus gauge just how much smoke they’re inhaling. While it might not be the most portable or smallest of pipes, the design allows it to fit easily in one’s hand, with a carb and upturned bowl on one side, and mouthpiece on the opposite.
Craighill Press Vessel
g one’s bud properly and safely stored is of the utmost importance, and Craighill’s Press Vessel is up to the task. Crafted from precision-machined anodized aluminum, it’s an airtight container that will keep everything from spices to herbs (hint hint) extremely fresh and insanely potent.
The Farmers Market Global Art Deco Ashtray
The interior decor enthusiast-pothead combo is more common than you might think, and nothing says “Gotta ash, but not on my $3,000 glass table” like this porcelain ashtray from Adrianne Ho-founded The Farmers Market Global.
Boy Smells Kush Candle
Just because one might consider themselves a stoner doesn’t mean they necessarily want to get high every day of their lives. Maybe there are days when they just want to be ever-so-slightly reminded of the scent, but in a more sophisticated manner. When that’s the case, allow the Boy Smells Kush candle to fill the void with a floral scent featuring subtle undertones of cannabis.
Tsubota Pearl Hard Edge Petrol Lighter
No one wants to get caught having to ask for a light, but whether you’ve got a chronic lighter-loser on your hands or someone who would be overjoyed at the prospect of lighting up with a bubblegum pink cow-print zippo, Tsubota Pearl’s Hard Edge Lighter makes sparking a cutesie affair.
Gossamer describes itself as a magazine “for people who also smoke,” with each issue containing interviews, conversations and essays, told or written through a “green lens.” Besides the wealth of content, the publication is also heavily populated with trippy and vibrant photos and artwork, perfect for gazing at with glazed-over eyes for hours upon hours.
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