Take It From a Woman: Using AI Isn’t Sexy

New York magazine published a story yesterday that rattled me to my core. The piece, written by Intelligencer staff writer James D. Walsh, explores the rampant AI cheating going on in college. Students seemingly can’t function without using artificial intelligence programs like ChatGPT to complete assignments. Maybe even worse, these students don’t see a problem with their extreme dependence on AI.

There are too many bleak quotes in the article to call them all out, but this paragraph making the rounds on X might take the cake. One college freshman interviewed said that while she believes AI could dampen critical-thinking skills, “now that we rely on it, we can’t really imagine living without it.”

There’s a lot to take away from this story, but one part that had me especially perplexed was the kicker. Quoted throughout the piece is Chungin Lee, a former Columbia University student and proud AI cheater who recently raised $5.3 million for his new startup Cluely. At the end of Walsh’s story, Lee is quoted saying the company’s tech “will enable you to cheat on pretty much everything.”

In a recent LinkedIn post, Lee explained that Cluely uses “a completely undetectable AI that sees your screen, hears your audio, and gives you real-time assistance in any situation,” and goes on to list a few potential uses for it: “interviews, assignments, tests, sales calls, meetings — everything.” Everything, including romantic dates.

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Lee’s post is accompanied by a short commercial for the service in which a young man uses a combination of Cluely and smart glasses while on a first date. When the date starts to go poorly, Cluely feeds him ideas about how to salvage it, like “mention her art” and “compliment her.” Cluely even provides a script for him. “The second I saw your profile and the painting with the tulips. You are the most gorgeous girl ever and such an unbelievably talented artist,” the AI tool suggests he say. Chilling, to say the least.

Cluely, though, isn’t the first company to integrate AI with dating. AI “wingmen” bots have already been rolled out across dating app platforms. “Struggling users” can now utilize generative AI technologies on apps like Hinge, Tinder and Bumble to help them land a date. These features will help you select the photos most likely to receive the most engagement, create a profile and even assist with messaging potential love interests.

There are obvious holes in this scheme. If chatbots are doing all the work for you on dating apps and ultimately successful in landing you an in-person date, how will you communicate with this human IRL without AI assistance? I suppose you could get yourself a pair of smart glasses and pay for a Cluely subscription and never need to get to know another person authentically, or use your brain, ever again.

Pointing out how dystopian and Black Mirror this all is feels too on the nose, but this is the unfortunate reality we now live in. Even worse, Gen Z’s unwavering support for and reliance on AI, oozing out of the recent New York article, has me fearful for the state (and future) of dating.

Nearly half of Gen Z men already aren’t dating, according to a 2023 survey, and this new technology spells trouble for meaningful, long-lasting connections — connections we as humans so desperately need to be a well-rounded, compassionate, fulfilled species. Not to mention how downright creeped out and betrayed I would feel if I learned a man I was chatting earnestly and intimately with on a dating app was actually a robot.

Let’s cut to the chase: Using AI isn’t sexy. Being impressed by AI isn’t sexy. I don’t want to see the weird AI-slop images you generated using Midjourney, or read the screenplay you prompted ChatGPT to spit out (I don’t even want to read the screenplays from men’s actual brains, but at least they put in the effort to create something original). Relying on technology that steals from the work of other people to feign your own creativity and intelligence is corny and embarrassing.

You know what is sexy? Discussing works of literature from real authors who have real worldly experiences. Wandering around a museum, admiring art with a lover. Sending handwritten notes — without having ChatGPT draft them first. Splitting a bottle of wine with a budding romantic interest and giving them your undivided attention. Not just as a means to an end, but because you’re genuinely interested in who they are as a person. Now that’s sexy.