Vehicles | March 14, 2017 9:00 am

So Your Estranged Uncle Wills You 14 of the Greatest Cars Ever Made …

Here are your options, according to the gearheads of Reddit

Today in problems we would like to have: a Redditor (affectionately named BlackCocktober), has allegedly* found himself in the most opulent of predicaments thanks to a reclusive uncle.

To wit:

“Growing up, my parents always complained about my crazy loner of an uncle, who wasted all his money buying up ‘worthless’ cars. About ten years ago we lost contact with him. Last month I found out he died and remembered me in his will, leaving me a few of those fabled cars. Today I received this.”

“This” being approximately a cool $900k worth of highly collectible vintage sports cars … and a Bronco. It’s the kind of dream that only existed on posters in childhood bedrooms — only here, it came true. The cars:

Reddit Cars (13 images)

The roster, with estimated values: a 1964 Chevy Corvette ($45k), a 1967 Porsche 912 ($55k), a 1968 Alpine A100 ($75k), a 1969 Jaguar XKE ($50k), a 1971 Datsun 240z ( $20k), a 1972 Lamborghini Espada ($140k), a 1973 Maserati Ghibli ($160k), a 1974 BMW 2002 Tii ($20k), a 1977 Porsche 911 Turbo ($100k), a 1980 Ford Bronco ( $9k), a 1985 Porsche 92 S ($15k), a 1987 BMW M3 ($50k), a 1995 Porsche 911 Carrera 4S ($100k) and a 2000 Ferrari 550 valued at about $125k.

Unsurprisingly, BlackCocktober’s fun-hating parents suggested that he (like his uncle before him), get rid of the cars:

“My parents want me to sell everything except the Bronco, which they view as the most reliable. I would keep the Bronco as a daily driver and use the proceeds from the others’ sale to invest. I really don’t want to do [that] …”

So, not being a huge car buff himself, BlackCocktober decided turned to the gearheads on the Autos subreddit for advice. There, the (super well-informed) peanut gallery of the internet was happy to help. Here are his options.

Option no. 1: keep all the cars

Whether out of spite for these disgruntled parents — that are being ripped to bitter shreds in the thread — or in appreciation for an unparalleled gift, he could keep the entire collection and seek to follow the path of ol’ Uncle Pennybags.

“Don’t let your parents ruin it like they ruined their relationship with your uncle. This right here. You just inherited a unique collection of art,” says Meowface_McGee.

“Yes. Do what your uncle did. BE F*CKING AWESOME,” adds Mr_Notacop.

Option no. 2: Sell all the cars

From the brutal truth of the matter …

“Honestly though if he can’t afford to drive them he should sell them,” says barbarian772. “Their condition won’t get better if they aren’t driven.”

To the more pragmatic side …

“Let’s say, for instance, the collection is worth $2.5 million (no clue if that’s a good estimate or not). OP, if your uncle had left you $2.5 million cash, would you go out and buy 14 collector cars with it?” asks EWW3. “Assuming there’s not a lot of sentimentality in the cars, it’s simply a net worth increase in the form of cars instead of cash–which you can flip.”

Option no. 3: Sell some of the cars

First, take into consideration taxes, because whether registered proper or registered as a gift, Uncle Sam will still be licking his chops.

“My State (PA) has a 15% inheritance tax for non-lineal heirs such as nephews. If I inherited this lot today from an uncle, I’d owe the state at least $100k next April,” said Shandlar.

Tack on storage fees, transport and maintenance, and selling at least some of the vehicles seems like the best option.

“Realistically /u/BlackCocktober should sell the most expensive cars, the ones that will cost $$$$ to $$$$$ per year in maintenance and upkeep, says ttlens. “He is worrying about storage costs, there’s no realistic way he can afford to keep the exotics. He should of course keep the ones he can afford to run and maintain, if he’s also able to cover the storage & insurance costs.”

Then there’s DXGypsy, who doesn’t mince words when discouraging mom and dad’s suggestion to keep the Bronco: “I’m utterly speechless. So help me God, if you sell all those cars and keep the f*cking Bronco, I’ll kill myself just so that my ghost can come haunt you forever. Here’s what you do. You give your idiot, jealous parents the goddamn Ford Bronco and tell them to drive away in it. Far, far away. Then you go get your collection. Sell two or three of your least favorites. Use that money to fix up the rest and to invest in your own nest egg.”

Option no. 4: Just make sure you keep the damn M3 (or sell it to me)

While the world can agree that the Bronco and parents deserve each other, we can also agree that you would have to pry the keys to that M3 out of our cold, dead hands before BringATrailer (love you guys!) ever got their paws on it.

“If I were in OP’s position, I could probably part with a couple of those in a pinch with few regrets. I’d probably sell a kidney before letting the Alpine go, and let the bank take my house before giving away the E30 M3. Dass just me doe,” says Gyrant.

“If I was in this position I would never be able to sell that M3. I also think that its value will increase over time far better than the others,” chimes in egularfreakinguser.

But the best overall advice:

JELLYFISH_FISTER: “Show up for work in a different car everyday for 3 weeks.”

23252729: “And then on the last day show up in the 550 and quit your job and laugh at your old coworkers as they watch you drive off into the distance in your new Ferrari.”

Toaster_In_Bathtub: “And then sell all the other cars to pay for one service on it.”

No, but seriously. If you choose the Ferrari and not the M3 — call me.

I’m serious. Call me.

M3. Call. me.

*As with all things posted on the Internet, the now-deleted post MAY have been a hoax. But that doesn’t make the crowdsourced advice about what to do if you’re extemporaneously willed 14 classic cars any less valid.