Home Goods | December 22, 2017 9:00 am

Twinkies, Cockroaches and This Apocalypse-Ready Bluetooth Speaker

The weatherproof, 33-lb Soundboks 2 literally goes up to 11

If you buy it, they will come.

That’s basically the sales pitch for a massive all-in-one party system masquerading as a Bluetooth speaker, the three-foot-tall, two-foot-wide, one-foot-deep Soundboks 2.

Constructed from Baltic birch plywood, brushed aluminum and encased in “apocalypse-ready shockproof casing,” the 33-pound speaker can withstand rain, snow and temperatures from -4 up to 122 degrees Fahrenheit. Powered by a rechargeable and removable military-grade battery that can provide up to 100 hours of playback, the Soundboks 2 has a pair of custom 10″ woofers, a soft dome tweeter and a DSP program with dynamic bass boosting that can be optimized for indoors or outdoors listening.

Soundblok (2 images)

Hookups include standard auxiliary as well as a Bluetooth range that extends up to 100 feet, and in Spinal Tap-ian fashion, its volume level goes up to 11. “We don’t like limits, so we designed the Soundboks S 2 to be able to withstand the most extreme conditions on earth,” say the designers. “So if you want to throw a kegger in the Sahara or a rave on slopes of Mount Everest, we got you.”

At $900, the Soundboks 2 ain’t cheap, but if you’re cool with that, go for the backpack, too.