The biggest mistake men make when shopping for the woman in their life? Treating it like a test. “We make gift giving more complicated than it needs to be,” says Kat Brown, a New York–based stylist, PR consultant and the writer behind the Substack So Much Yes.
From La Jolla, California to Paris, Brown has spent her career chasing her first love, fashion editorial, and has developed an approach to shopping she describes as “widely niche”: strong opinions, a lot of curiosity and a preference for things that feel considered over whatever’s trending.
Her advice for holiday gifitng? Start with what you already know. Think about where she’s happiest, what she’s mentioned wanting or what she can’t stop losing, and build from there. The holidays are still two months out, which means you have time to do this right. (If you’re more of a last-minute guy, bookmark this one for December 23.)
Below, her cheat sheet for what you should buy now, as told to InsideHook.
Start Where She’s Happiest (And Yes, You Can Buy Her Clothes)
Find the best parts of her day and try to enhance that moment even more. If she’s happiest when she’s finally braless at the end of the day, cozied up on the couch — that’s a trampoline to try a new blanket that’s bigger than your entire apartment or a few new sets of her favorite PJs to keep at your place (that is, if you don’t already live together). I also really like this scent from Sidia called Braless. It’s a body mist, and it smells heavenly.
I know men fear buying a woman clothes. Clothing is a sensitive gift, whether it’s a guy buying it or not. It’s such a personal thing, and everyone has such a different relationship with clothing. They either love to get dressed in the morning, or they don’t think about it. But — and I’m saying this in all caps — as long as there is a gift receipt, you have accepted the possibility of an exchange and if you have a fairly certain idea of what she wants, go for it. (But seriously, get the receipt and don’t lose it this time.)
On Gifts That Won’t Blow a Hole In Your Wallet
I love Diptyque’s candles; the mimosa scent is the one that everyone’s obsessed with, and rightfully so. They do a mini version that’s $48. Gifts at this price point are honestly my favorite because they’re a really fun opportunity to get creative and be the most thoughtful.
Also, stationery! It’s such a sweet gift to give personalized stationery, because it’s that’s something you never really want to buy for yourself. I love Papier for this option: They offer plenty of ways to personalize the stationery. I also always love a mug. There are so many options to find one that feels perfect for your person. This one from Jonathan Adler is a favorite of mine.
Bonus: A mini-size or rollerball version of her favorite perfume, since you can investigate what that might be on her vanity. It also shows that you noticed what she wears.
The Beauty Gifts She Secretly Wants
Botox. Just kidding. Kind of. Real answer: The Crème de la Mer face cream. It’s next in line if Botox isn’t something she wants for herself. Keep that skin glowing and gorgeous.
Also: Anything Westman Atelier. Truly. I personally love their Super Loaded Tinted Highlight. And Merit, they do these really cute little cosmetics bags. They were one of the first makeup brands to create a notable one, but they come free with your purchase — they just made a new one in honor of their collaboration with ERDEM, and I’m addicted to it. Buy her a Color Duo lip kit, and you’ll get one for free.
Cozy Gifts for Her Couch Era
The Lola blanket is actually addicting. I’m not kidding. I travel with mine. It’s like I am six years old and I’m attached to my blankie. Otherwise, I mentioned a few favorites earlier, but the Skims PJ sets are elite. That’s another fun thing to not buy for yourself. I sometimes hate that Kim did it right, but she did it so right.
The Accessory That Always Lands
Ray-Bans are always a great idea. I love the classic Wayfarer, but there’s a pair for everyone. I’m always on the move, shifting between purses, in and out of the subway, losing my sunglasses at brunch or wherever I was last. Glasses almost always need to be replaced or refreshed. I’ve honestly sat on a lot of glasses. Your girlfriend or wife probably has similar issues.
Gifts Worth The Splurge (Ones That She’ll Actually Use)
Tech is always worth the splurge. New AirPods, or an iPad, if she’s into that kind of thing, or if she’s pursuing something and limited by her current tech setup — that’s a considerate spend that you can be sure she’d use. The reality of our world, whether we like it or not, is that we really can be limited by our own technology. It’s a tool. AirPods are a safe choice. I want AirPods right now.
Outside of tech, the Maison Francis Kurkdjian Paris Baccarat Rouge 540 scent is so good and works on everybody I’ve ever met. It smells delicious. That’s something you want your man to get you. Or the Dyson Air Wrap: It is supreme. Get the one with all of the attachments though, not just the blow dryer. I’ve seen that mistake made. I’ve used one, but never owned one. I want to own one. Truly, that’s one of those buzzy items that has stayed really relevant. So relevant that we’re talking about potential dupes because it’s expensive. A good hair day always puts people in a better mood.
Waited Too Long? Here’s Your Out
Sometimes we procrastinate the things we care about the most. The pressure of perfection can make us blind. Book a spa day followed by dinner at a place she’s been dying to try. It’s fine if all of this takes place in January, or even February. Try to only take your phone out to snap a few quick pics of her and give her your undivided attention — genuinely try to learn three new things about the person you thought you knew everything about. Life moves so fast. Doing your best to slow it down for 12 hours is a really special gift. It’s caring. It all goes back to making her feel seen.
The best gifts I ever received were from my dad and from a boyfriend. My birthday was a few months ago, and my dad sent me a hat from this place that we used to get donuts from when I was little. I had forgotten the memory, let alone that he would remember that. When it came in the mail, I cried in a good way. The other time was a stuffed animal golden retriever from a boyfriend that I still see to this day. He gave me the gift of companionship long after his own.
Pay attention. Do something personal, special. She’ll love it.
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