Claws of Life

November 5, 2013 9:00 am

It has been said, usually by the more abstentious among us, that one can have too much of a good thing.

This email is not for them.

Because this email’s about The Fat: Lobsteran underground, first-ever crustacean bacchanal in which attendees will gorge on a thousand pounds of fresh New Brunswick lobster. Tickets are available now.

Masterminded by a Per Se alum, the owner of The Russian Tea Room and Tavern on the Green, and the gonzo foodie behind the world’s most expensive satanic hamburger, The Fat events center around “a single rare or unreasonably delicious ingredient that we don’t get enough of in our daily lives.”

In this case: lobster.

The Fat: Lobster is hosted in a colossal Union Square loft, and the “Gluttony” package includes:

Claws. Tails. Rolls. An all-you-can-eat orgy of delectable snow-white flesh, pre-cracked and ready for consumption, complete with bottomless champagne, live music and actual fountains of butter.

“And you won’t have to deal with annoying shells like the hoi polloi,” say The Fat’s organizers. “It’s all done for you!”

Those who purchase a “Gluttony + Sloth” ticket are also entitled to layabout while their plates are ferried back and forth by a devoted manservant or “French maid type.”

Because you can never have too much of that good thing.


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