Thinking Your Wife Is Your Best Friend Could Lead to Divorce

Marriage and family therapist explains why it's healthy to expect otherwise.

(Getty)
(Getty)
By Diana Crandall / December 15, 2018 5:00 am

Sorry folks, but your wife isn’t your best friend — and if you don’t draw the line between marriage and friendship, you could put your vows in jeopardy.

“In most cases our friends do not live with us, are not financially, legally, relationally entwined with us. Our friends are attached to us because they want to, when they want to,”Marriage and family therapist Carrie Krawiec told Fatherly. “They have volition and empowerment to leave or at least take space from us when necessary. Our partners are connected to our homes, family, schedules, life.”

Kraweic said that failing to draw a distinction between the role that your friends and partner play can mean developing “impractical expectations” for your wife. If, for example, you want t quit your job to pursue a lifelong passion (like cooking or carpentry), your friends will likely be supportive. But a wife will certainly — and is supposed to — have questions.

“When we mistake our partners own questions, fears, concerns as a lack of support we are holding them accountable to a friend standard that does not exist for our partner,” Krawiec said. “When we get too disappointed or resentful we end up eroding our relationships.”

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