Weird-Hot Timothée Chalamet Is Actually the Perfect Willy Wonka

Some have decried Chalamet's "sexification of Willy Wonka," but the iconic candy man has always been a kinky little weirdo

Timothée Chalamet is seen as Willy Wonka during filming for the Warner Bros and the Roald Dahl Story Company's upcoming movie 'Wonka' on October 11, 2021, in Lyme Regis, England. This film will focus on the young Willy Wonka on his earliest adventure and how he met the Oompa-Loompas. Some critics contend Chalamet is too "hot" to play Wonka
Timothée Chalamet, probably on some kinky Wonka shit.
Finnbarr Webster/Getty Images

In case you haven’t heard, we’re getting a new Willy Wonka, except this time, he’s sexy. Or, rather, a sexy Wonka seems to be the inevitable result of casting Hollywood heartthrob Timothée Chalamet as the lead in the forthcoming Willy Wonka prequel — though it’s worth noting that some Twitter critics have compared the first glimpse of Chalamet in full Wonka gear to Gonzo’s turn as Charles Dickens in the Muppet Christmas Carol.

Still, while some may think Chalamet looks like a Muppet, others think he makes a rather sexy young Wonka, though not everyone is on board with what one Twitter user has declared “the sexification of Willy Wonka.” Some have compared Chalamet’s Wonka to a “tumblr sexyman” in circa 2010 Brooklyn, while another Twitter user has expressed concern that if filmmakers “keep making Willy Wonka hotter” we’ll eventually end up with a playboy candy man played by the ultra-sexy likes of Jason Momoa.

But here’s the thing: while Willy Wonka may not be a Hollywood sex symbol in the traditional sense, à la James Bond or whatever hunky superheroes stars like Momoa play, the character has always been on some kink shit, to put it delicately. I’m sorry to anyone who might have mistakenly attached some level of childlike innocence to their memories of Willy Wonka, but there is definitely something extraordinarily kinky about a deranged candy man who lures children into his candy factory where he employs a harem of elven slaves.

Moreover, like Willy Wonka himself, Timothée Chalamet is not quite a sex symbol in the traditional, conventionally attractive leading man sense. Is he a Hollywood icon and much simped-after heartthrob? Yes, undoubtedly. But we must also remember that Chalamet, while hot, is actually pretty weird looking. As many have pointed out, he looks like the ghost of a young Victorian boy who died of tuberculosis in 1896. Chalamet is not traditional Hollywood hunk hot; he’s scrawny theater kid who’s probably into some kinky stuff hot. In other words, he’s the perfect baby Wonka.

Meanwhile, the implication that the Wonkas have gotten progressively sexier since the original film seems like an unnecessary slight to OG Wonka, Gene Wilder. While definitely weird looking, I would argue that Wilder’s Wonka remains infinitely easier on the eyes — and maybe all of the senses — than Johnny Depp’s downright disturbing Wonka stint in 2005.

Regardless, the sexification of Willy Wonka didn’t start with Chalamet, Depp or even Wilder. Rather, Willy Wonka, the brain child of Roald Dahl — who literally wrote kinky erotic fiction when he wasn’t busy writing deranged children’s stories — has been a low-key kink icon since his debut in the original 1964 novel. The “sexification” of Willy Wonka is not an adulteration of the character, but rather a longstanding tradition, and weird-hot little Victorian ghost boy Timothée Chalamet is the perfect man for the job. You may not like it, but this is what peak Wonka performance looks like.

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