Every Annoying Person in Chicago, Categorized

A guide to every Chicago jagoffs. So painfully true.

By The Editors
February 23, 2015 9:00 am

Dibs abusers. Reckless Milwaukee Ave. bike ninjas. The guys who order Miller Lites for all their bros.

Chicago has its fair share of jerks.

You one of ‘em? Find out here:

The Field Guide to Chicago Jagoffs, a delightful piece of satire that explores the brutes and cretins of Chicago past and present, releasing tomorrow.

It’s the latest from indie stalwarts Lumpen Magazine — which, if you’re unfamiliar, start here. The same people also do Mash Tun: a journal on craft beer. Both highly recommended.

“What’s a jagoff?” you ask.

Basically: a selfish person ya can’t stand.

And between these pages, there are many.

Inside: hilarious vignettes of jagoff-ery, crowdsourced and collected by editors Bill Savage and Paul Durica — like the comic pictured below illustrating certain denizens who think train cars are their own personal transit carriers.

Some of our other favorites:

– The Devil in the White City Superfan Jagoff
– The Locals Who Hate Newcomers Jagoff
– The “I Never Complain About The Weather, But …” Weather-Complaining Jagoff

No one is safe, including hometown figures: from Ronnie “Woo-Woo” to George Pullman.

Which is why you should get to tomorrow’s release party at Maria’s in Bridgeport. There will be readings. Beer. Lots of shit-talking.

Oh, and copies of the mag are free. Download your copy here.

It also happens to be election night.

So jagoffs will certainly be the topic of conversation.

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