Water Bottles
By Tanner Garrity / January 28, 2020 12:26 pm

In case you didn’t hear, people are all in on drinking water in 2020:

Leading the charge here are millennials, the hydration generation. Back in 2015, the cohort helped “globally bottled water” unseat “carbonated soft drinks” as the largest beverage category by volume in the world. Five years on, some of the offerings have evolved — think fitness water (“ionized” pH balancers from Essential) or artesian water (those gorgeous glass cylinders from Voss), but the concept of water as can’t-get-enough cure-all remains the same. If you head to Reddit right now, you can find a real, largely unironic page called “HydroHomies,” where 650-thousand followers congregate to praise water and the virtues of drinking enough of it.

Everyone needs to calm down a little bit. Water won’t make your skin or hair gleam like a full moon, contrary to the internet’s recent “goop logic,” and slugging gallons of it during the day won’t do anything but get you acquainted with the toilet. But faithful water intake is a good idea. It prevents kidney damage, regulates body temperature, helps maintains a healthy weight (by catalyzing the metabolism), and lubricates the joints. It’s just insanely important, when drinking water, to not drink it from single-use plastic bottles. InsideHook’s Senior Editor Alex Lauer wrote a scorching piece about this last year. Some of his words:

Did you know that every time you drink those 17 ounces of water and the plastic bottle goes in the trash, it will stay on the planet around 450 years?I’d like everyone reading this to collectively awake from the biggest marketing con of our time.”

We’re in a climate crisis that’s only going to get worse. And the efforts (or laziness) of every individual counts. There’s just no logic or excuse that justifies spending thousands of dollars on plastic a year, (whether you’re an office manager filling out orders for the kitchen, or a freelancer who works from home), when sourcing purified water is easier than ever, and you can easily purchase an ultra-reliable reusable bottle to give the planet a much-needed break. To that end, we’ve rounded up 12 of the best water bottles on the market right now, for every type of person. Find our picks below, and let the dang refills begin.

For the Commuter: Purist Collective Founder Union Top

This brand lines its bottles with a glass interior to ward off metallic aftertaste, and uses a refined sippy cup design to make sure you’re not spilling water down your front during a subway sip.

For the Tailgater: Yeti Rambler Bottle

Their name is gold for a reason. The Rambler keeps water cold, coffee hot, and won’t crack or fade over the years.

For the Undergrad: Nalgene Wide-Mouth Water Bottle

Post-nuclear apocalypse, only cockroaches and Nalgenes will remain. These things provide years of indestructibility for the price of lunch, and they come in every color known to man. College kids like to put stickers on them. If you know a youth, send one their way.

For the Aesthete: HAY Sowden Bottle

This Danish juggernaut specializes in vibrant home knickknacks conceived by venerable European designers. English product developer George Sowden crafted this stainless steel bottle.

For the Runner: Platypus Collapsible Water Bottle

From the hydration pack specialists at Platypus, this flexible flask is perfect for a variety of long-distance activities (running, hiking, cycling). It weighs 80% less than a bottle filled with the same volume of liquid.

For the Host: Soma Glass Water Bottle

Soma makes a variety of beautiful glass carafes, pitchers, mugs, and water bottles. They’re shielded in protective silicone sleeves and topped with a bamboo top, so you can leave the house with them, but we like the idea of keeping a few of these around the kitchen. Bonus: the brand donates a portion of its earnings to sustainable water projects.

For the Gymrat: New Wave Enviro Handle Bottle

BE THAT GUY.

For the Backpacker: HydraPak Stash Collapsible Water Bottle

Collapsible bottles have had a moment the last couple years, but they often fall short (literally). They’ve got a nasty habit of teetering off desks if they aren’t filled with the perfect amount of water. You don’t have to worry about that with HydraPak’s Stash. And when the bottle’s empty, the plastic at the top and bottom click together, so you can slot it away no larger than a coaster.

For the Yuppie: S’well Teakwood Bottle

S’well’s ridden the water bottle boom to great success. From a technical perspective, they’re not doing anything revolutionary. But their designs are plentiful and fun. We like their iconic Teakwood bottle. (You’ll recognize it from every workshare Instagram ever, but who cares.)

For the Traveler: Matador Packable Water Bottle

This bottle was just restocked. People lost their minds when Matador dropped it late last year, thanks to the zipper-fill tech, lockable bite valve, and full-length straw. It weighs just 2.5 ounces somehow, but can handle over 100 pounds of pressure.

For the Germaphobe: The LARQ Bottle

Fresh off a Red Dot award (“Best of the Best” in design), the LARQ is the fanciest/most fascinating water bottle money can buy. It self-purifies water two hours — using UV-C LED light to eliminate up to 99.9999% of bio-contaminants — and keeps cold for up to 24 hours. The price point is steep, obviously, but then so is the cost of drinking contaminated water, or giving gas stations money for water bottles.

For the Cyclist: Specialized Bikes Simply Pure Water Bottle

From a small family-run company, this grippy, BPA-free plastic bottle fits perfectly in bottle holsters on road and mountain bikes.

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