Being your wife’s plus-one is getting a rebrand, and we can all thank Colin Jost and the Kelce brothers. On the latest episode of New Heights, the podcast hosted by Travis and Jason Kelce, Jost sat down with the duo to talk all things Saturday Night Live, his second season hosting Pop Culture Jeopardy! and, more importantly, a common denominator in all three of their relationships.
“As two guys who are also of the plus-one fraternity and have this same experience,” Travis asked Jost, referring to himself and Jason, “how nice is it to be the less-famous person in your relationship?”
“Huge relief,” Jost replied.
These guys certainly lucked out when it comes to their partners. Scarlett Johansson (Jost’s wife), Kylie Kelce (Jason’s wife) and Taylor Swift (Travis’s fiancée) are all hugely successful on their own terms, with booming careers and massive followings. They all dominate in their respective fields, and while Jost and the Kelce brothers have many accolades of their own, it’s clear they’re all more than happy to cede the limelight in their relationships.
For many men, that’s still a bridge too far. Throughout history, when men have been less successful than their female partners, it’s often seen as emasculating — a feeling that’s certainly back on the upswing in today’s tradwife era. But pick any decade and there are plenty of these stories. Take the 2015 rap feud between Drake and Meek Mill when the former released the song “Back to Back” about Mill’s then-girlfriend Nicki Minaj overshadowing his career.
“When Drake wanted to attack Meek Mill,” The Cut wrote at the time, “the most stinging insult he (or his ghostwriters) could come up with amounted to ‘your girlfriend is more successful than you are, which means you are an emasculated wimp.’”
We all know Drake has never been the epitome of feminism, but he shares this popular, long-held belief that a woman being more successful than her male partner is something to feel ashamed about. Just recently, singer Megan Thee Stallion and her boyfriend, NBA player Klay Thompson, broke up amid circulating cheating rumors. For some, it served as a reminder that dating as a “successful woman” comes with risks.
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Travis Kelce’s relationship statement on a recent “New Heights” episode is begging an important questionI recently wrote about a study that showed traditional-leaning ideals are seeing a resurgence in men around the globe, particularly when it comes to heterosexual relationships — men who don’t work and who take on childcare responsibilities are more frequently seen as “less masculine,” and more men believe that problems in relationships come from husbands opting to stay home while their wives work. Gen Z men made up the highest demographic of those who agreed with these statements.
In this environment, I can’t emphasize enough how refreshing and attractive it is to see Jost and the Kelce brothers not only be content with their partners achievements, but celebrating them. They’re comfortable, and even somewhat prefer, not being the ones who receive all the attention. They can take the back seat — and I can’t stress this enough — while also maintaining their confidence.
The women — and men! — in the comments on the New Heights Instagram post agree. “Long live this energy,” one man wrote. “When your biggest flex in life is your spouse,” one user wrote. “Here’s to women who recognize that they deserve to be cherished and will settle for nothing less!” another wrote. “Super Bowl champions, toughest guys around, great humor and successful comedian, producer, actor and yet, they are winning the masculinity championship!!” added another.
It’s not just the New Heights crew, either. The New York Times recently discussed an increase in younger men who are actively pursuing older, more successful women. Women the editors spoke to, in roughly their 30s and 40s, said they have been approached by more younger men on dating apps and while out in public, with dating statistics from the app Feeld supporting this heightened interest. “Men who are exclusively interested in dating women older than themselves has increased by 64 percent” in the last two years, according to the article, with 18-to-25-year-old men being especially interested.
“I feel like in a lot of traditional, heterosexual relationships, a woman who begins out-earning her partner can be seen as very threatening. And I wonder if this is an antidote to that,” said Opinion culture editor Nadja Spiegelman. Maybe we’re not entirely screwed after all?
Perhaps as the pendulum swings, there are two choices: double down and defend outdated tradition or adapt and be a man who’s comfortable in his masculinity. If you aspire to date women like Jost and the Kelce brothers, then you already know the right choice. Welcome to the plus-one fraternity.
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