Every day, I log onto TikTok and someone is trying to sell me something.
According to hundreds of content creators, I’m not ugly, I just have cortisol face. The made-up medical term is supposedly the explanation for puffier facial features caused by high cortisol levels, or stress. The solution? A supplement you can conveniently buy through the creator’s TikTok shop link. Other users have taken to shaming women for their feminine odor and convincing them to buy bioardic capsules in order to ensure they “taste good.” (Gross!) Again, you can purchase a bottle swiftly through the link in bio.
But beyond the blatant money-grab attempts, creators are trying to convince us of arbitrary measurements of love. You may have heard of a couple of relationship “tests” circulating the internet within the last year. They have names like the “Orange Peel Theory” and “Bird Test.” Without further context, they don’t sound like they have any relevance to relationships.
But both the orange peel theory and bird test have to do with a partner proving their love through simple actions.
With the orange peel theory, one partner is supposed to ask the other to do a basic task for them, like peeling an orange, even though it’s something they can easily do on their own. If your partner does so instinctively without complaining or judgement, then that is a sign they deeply care about you. The bird test is similar in that if you point out something that interests you, such as a bird outside, a partner who really cares will pay attention and show genuine interest in the thing you’re interested in — even if they don’t give a shit about birds.
Gigi Engle, a certified sex and relationship psychotherapist and resident intimacy expert at 3Fun, tells InsideHook these theories that have gained popularity on TikTok are simply fun, trendy ways of learning how much your partner cares about you or is interested in you.
“I am somewhat skeptical of people ‘testing’ their partners for views, but using certain lines of questioning such as these methods can tell you things about your relationship. They aren’t always completely defining, but they serve as decent indicators,” she adds.
I’ll be honest, the sentiment behind these two trends is not totally eye-roll-inducing. We, of course, want our partners to serve us in mundane ways: Listen to us when we talk, remember our likes and dislikes, attend to us because they want to take care of us, not because we asked them to.
Particularly for heterosexual women, who it seems are the primary demographic testing their male partners for TikTok, these simple, unspoken acts can, unfortunately, be hard to come by. In an interview with Vox on the orange peel theory trend, relationship psychologist Alexandra Solomon says these tests play into cis-hetero socialization. Women are socialized to anticipate any needs. This can lead to meeting men’s needs before men even know they have them, whereas men may need to be directly told by their partners what exactly is required of them. (Spoiler alert: This isn’t something women want to have to keep doing!) Naturally, this clash can cause tension, resentment and skepticism of a relationship, and could be the potential catalyst for why these theories have gained so much traction.
As Engle mentioned, testing your partner for views, or in any capacity, feels … bad. And I’d argue if you feel the need to trick your partner with an orange, you probably already know the answer to your test. For viewers, watching one video after the other might also overstate the importance — or validity — of these viral theories.
“Keep in mind that these trends are not the most solid advice,” stresses Engle. “TikTok is also full of misinformation about sex and dating. Always take trends with a grain of salt, and remember that they are designed for clicks and views.”
Still, the birds and the oranges can teach us formidable relationship advice. Listen to your partner, show excitement in their favorite things and do things — no matter how small! — for them. If not, be forewarned: you might be tested with an unpeeled fruit.
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