Because every man needs a plan, and some of us need that plan with pretty pictures, we present Where to Take Her: a series that answers a gentleman's most pressing lifestyle questions and recurs whenever we get around to it. This go-round: where to cool down. Sally forth.
Action Park – Vernon, NJ – The delightfully trashy alternative to another beach day. The recently reopened Valhalla of legendarily perilous waterslides at Mountain Creek Resort must be experienced at least once, if for no other reason that they now have a slide featuring a chamber that drops you into a vertical tube via trap door.
Jeff Koons at the Whitney – UES – The can’t-miss exhibit of the summer: despite being one of the most influential artists of the last 50 years, Koons has never been the subject of a full-career retrospective, and this 150-piece exhibit at the Whitney is his first-ever major presentation in New York.
McCarren Hotel – Williamsburg – Local dips don’t get much better than the saltwater pool at this haunt from the same crew that runs Montauk’s fabled Ruschmeyer’s. A tanned and tatted crowd cavorting on the sprawling patio, deluxe food and cocktails galore, and day passes at the ready.
Morgenstern’s – LES – Manhattan’s new ice cream Mecca takes old standards to the next level, boasting flavors like burnt honey vanilla and Szechuan peppercorn chocolate, topped with off-the-wall garnishes like caramelized meringue and pickled pineapple. Right next door to Freemans should you like to make a full date of it.
Odd Fellows – Williamsburg – A rotating cast of awesomely ridiculous flavors like chorizo caramel swirl and prosciutto melon, plus just a stone’s throw to the waterfront for a classic spoon-and-stroll. Pro tip: if cornbread is on the menu, get it.
Otto’s Shrunken Head – E. Village – Hot weather and tiki drinks go together like, well, hot weather and tiki drinks. And a good tiki bar is a semi-divey tiki bar. Enter Otto’s, the charmingly tacky Polynesian den of Naugahyde booths, bamboo walls and frosty bevvies strong enough to peel paint.
Sonny’s Soda Shoppe – SoHo – Perched atop the Mondrian is a retro-hip rooftop beach club featuring pisco-augmented affogatos, blood orange gelato floats (with tequila, naturally) and the most insane views of downtown New York you’re likely to find. Enjoy the breeze.