Why “Mutual Proposals” Are on the Rise
Mutual proposals allow both partners to share in the fun of popping the question
In one of Love Is Blind‘s most iconic scenes, cast member Giannina Gibelli flips the script by responding to her soon-to-be fiance’s proposal with a proposal of her own. And while the buzzy, tearful mutual proposal was the stuff of reality TV producers’ dreams, it turns out this proposal style isn’t just happening on Netflix reality series.
According to the Guardian, such “double proposals” are a growing trend among couples who reject the old-school, often gendered traditions surrounding traditional marriage proposals. While the trend has been relatively common among LGBTQ couples for years, the Guardian reports it is also starting to gain popularity among hetero couples who may be drawn to the mutual proposal’s increased air of equality.
“Couples we’re seeing who are doing mutual proposals really want to be equal partners in every way, and don’t subscribe to heteronormative, socially prescribed gender roles,” Kirsten Palladino, editor of the LGBTQ+ focused Equally Wed magazine, told the Guardian.
For some couples, the mutual proposal involves a careful balance of planning and spontaneity — perhaps reflective of an increased transparency in pre-proposal conversations about marriage that’s become common among modern couples. One couple told the Guardian they had agreed to set a specific period of time during which both would propose whenever they chose to, and the proposal wouldn’t be “complete” until both had popped the question.
Not only do mutual proposals reinforce equality in a marriage, but they also allow both partners to share in the joy (and anxiety) of proposing.
“Proposing in itself is very nerve-racking, very exciting, wonderful – and also being proposed to is a thrill and amazing,” said Tom, one of the mutual proposers who spoke to the Guardian. “Why not do both?”
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