Fantastic Mr. Fix

By The Editors
April 1, 2014 9:00 am

Some people’s lives are like movies.

That goes for living rooms now, too.

Introducing The Opulent Trappings, a pop-up home decor service from Wes Anderson — yes, the idiosyncratic auteur of The Grand Budapest Hotel — now taking a very limited number of clients.

Originally conceived as a joke by Bill Murray because Anderson noticed a “lack of precision” with Murray’s on-location trailer decor, The Opulent Trappings does house calls in LA and NYC.

In a trademark display of true Andersonian rigor, the auteur’s service comes with several stipulations:

  1. Wes Anderson requires total control. Your dining room table may be inside a tent.

  2. Wes Anderson requires you have quarters for a butler.

  3. You do not get to meet Wes Anderson.

  4. The redecoration process may be narrated by Alec Baldwin.

  5. To be considered, Wes Anderson requires you to submit a poem.

Anderson’s brother, who illustrated the Criterion Collection release of Anderson’s films, will draft the blueprints for the job, which applicants may keep if Anderson chooses to work with them.

Those should hang nicely on your new pastel walls.

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