The Best Sex Advice? “Ask, ask, ask. Listen, listen, listen.”

How to save her (and therefore yourself) from ho-hum sex

By Eric Brown

The Best Sex Advice? “Ask, Ask, Ask. Listen, Listen, Listen.”
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13 February 2017

Unlike your dog, you’re never too old to learn new tricks.

A fact of life, and certainly of sex.

So with Valentine’s Day just a turn of the calendar away, we sought out Antoinette Hancock — manager and sex specialist at one our favorite shops in the city, the Pleasure Chest — to help us brush up on a few things.

Now, if you really wanna be a connoisseur of what she wants, we suggest turning to the Pleasure Chest workshops, where Hancock has been conducting sexual healing session for the last nine years.

But for the sake of time, allow us to bring those classes to you.

InsideHook: What are some misconceptions men have about women’s sexuality?

Antoinette Hancock: Full arousal takes time, but can begin long before clothes come off. The brain is the biggest and most important sex organ. Bodies have more in common than we are taught to think.

IH: Every woman is different, but what are a few tips you can offer men when performing oral?

AH: Ask, ask, ask; listen, listen, listen. Listen to words, but also to sounds, skin, muscles and breath. Put yourselves in their skin. Don't be afraid to stop, shift, check in, take breaks. Actually, don't perform. Connect.

IH: What about a favorite position?

AH: Anything that helps the receiver really relax into the sensation is going to be the best thing. The communication skills we develop as we learn how to explore these things with new lovers are what makes us “good in bed,” far more so than any position, tongue trick or accessory.

IH: And foreplay? Is it a lost art? Did we ever have it? What could we do better?

AH: At the Pleasure Chest, we say that foreplay does not exist — it's all sex. PIV (penis-in-vagina) sex is just one item on a menu of a thousand tastes. It becomes about listening to the pleasure, our own and that of others, and following where it leads us.

IH: Are there any other workshops you teach or others you recommend for men? For couples?

AH: All of our workshops, with the exception of a few that focus on masturbation and getting to know the deep sexual self, are open to everyone, in singles, couples or groups.

Some of our most popular workshops are Blow Jobs and Beyond, O-M-G Spot!, The Ultimate O, and Butt Sex Basics.

IH: Any parting words of wisdom?

AH: Learning to have deeper pleasure, more control, and more whole body ecstasy is something we've helped lots of men who may have spent a lot of their sexual life “doing” rather than “feeling,” especially as they mature want to know what else is out there.

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