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At the intersection of sex & dating and commerce is me. I’ve reported on relationship trends, such as how men often don’t ask women questions on dates, as well as written product-based stories, like why one of the sexiest things a man can wear is a Carhartt vest or a crumpled, white dress shirt. In the middle of that Venn Diagram are sex toys and other sexual wellness items, like lube and arousal oils. A couple of years ago, I wrote an extensive explainer on almost every single sexual wellness item I own.
Despite my wealth of sex toy knowledge, though, I am not a certified sexpert. If you came to me with a specific sex toy question, I could certainly recommend my favorite non-sticky lubricant or wearable couples vibrator. Still, it would be based on anecdotal evidence.
It’s why I asked Javay Frye-Nekrasova, MEd, AASECT-Certified Sex Educator for premier sex retailer Lovehoney, for her expert recommendations for every conceivable sexual situation. Need a couple’s toy that doesn’t get in the way during sex? Want to turn your BDSM game up a notch? Interested in prostate play but hesitant about using a toy? We have all the answers to your sex toy questions below.
InsideHook: My partner and I are looking for an intuitive couples toy for use during intercourse. Any recommendations?
Javay Frye-Nekrasova: My top recommendation is the We-Vibe Chorus. The toy can be worn during partnered activity, including penetration, and the remote control is super intuitive. As you tighten or loosen your grip on the remote, the intensity of the toy increases and decreases. You can also connect the toy to music to really bring the entire experience together.
I’m looking for a vibrator that I can use on my girlfriend during sex. Do you have any recommendations for easy-to-manage vibrators?
The Lovehoney mon ami G-Spot Vibe is a great choice. It works well for internal or external stimulation. It is not too large, so it won’t get in the way during partnered activities, but it still has length to reach where you want it.
It’s our first introduction to anal play. What butt plugs or other anal toys would you recommend for beginners?
I always recommend starting out with non-vibrating anal toys. You could do a training kit like They-ology Anal Training Kit so that you can take your time moving through the sizes and getting comfortable. If the goal is to engage in penetrative partnered anal sex, I highly recommend using anal beads as they will help you be more comfortable with depth in terms of penetration.
My partner and I are intermediate BDSM players but want to kick it up a notch. Any products we should add to our bedroom?
Depending on your BDSM/kink interests, there are a lot of different avenues you can explore. Wartenberg wheels are great for exploring new sensations. ElectraStim is another avenue that you could explore as you get more advanced in BDSM.
I’m interested in prostate play, but a little hesitant. Any prostate devices/vibrators for beginners?
Hesitancy with any type of anal play is common; luckily, when it comes to prostate stimulation, you can start with external stimulation. You can use your fingers or a bullet vibrator for external stimulation to get you more comfortable, and then when you are ready you can move to internal stimulation. When you are ready for internal stimulation, the Lovehoney P-Stroke Prostate Massager is a great option.
Take It From a Woman: You Should Let Your Partner Use Her Vibrator on You
Why should she get to have all the fun?I find that a lot of lube is sticky. What lubricant should I try instead?
Silicone lubes are a great choice if you find most lubes to be sticky or tacky, because silicone lubes tend to be slicker. pjur Infinity Silicone is one of my favorite silicone lubes. Hybrids also tend to have a better feel, and they can be used with silicone sex toys, unlike silicone lube.
I’m not sure how/where to store my sex toys. What should I use to store my items?
Nowadays, most toys come with a storage bag for you to keep the toy and charger in. Generally, you want to keep your toys stored somewhere cool and dry, like your nightstand. A big tip for storing your toys is to make sure they are continually plugged into the charger.
What’s the easiest item to use for post-coital clean-up?
The easiest item is going to be a Liberator Throw, as you can just ball it up and throw it in the wash after all the fun is had. Toy wipes are great for quickly cleaning toys after use. If you want to really minimize mess, consider shower sex with the Womanizer Wave.
I keep seeing online chatter about the “rose toy.” What is it, and which model do you recommend?
The rose toy is a sex toy that is in the shape of a rose and is designed for clitoral stimulation. The Lovehoney Rose is a great choice with 10 different intensity settings. The Lovehoney mon ami Rose uses the same Air Pleasure technology as the Womanizer.
If there’s one sex toy every couple should have in their sex chest, what item do you think it should be?
If there were one toy that I felt every couple should have in their sex chest, it would definitely be a wand. The Lovehoney Power Play Wand is a great choice with seven intensity levels, a travel lock and waterproof, making it great for taking with you on all your baecations. My second choice must-have toy for couples is a great bullet, like the We-Vibe Tango X.
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