There’s a lot of year left, but I promise this is the grouchiest column I’ll write in 2026. Here goes: we must send the stair-texters straight to the dungeon.
You can find them anywhere there are people and inclines: train platforms, gyms, grocery stores. They come in different shapes and sizes, they represent every age and demographic, but they all move in the exact same way — slow-motion shuffle, scroll, lift foot, poke screen, land foot, repeat. The worst ones get to the top (or bottom) of the stairs and suddenly stop. This would be justifiable if they received notification of a nuclear warhead careening towards the city. But it’s usually just a Slack they have to read extra carefully.
What are the non-stair-texters left to do? Huff and puff and overtake on the left, I guess, in the hope that no one is walking the opposite way. It’s not a day-ruiner, but that’s only because it happens too many times in the day to justify a mental meltdown.
Still, it is extremely frustrating and even thought-provoking. How did we get to a place where this behavior is (if not acceptable) completely ubiquitous? What does it say about our collective relationship with screens and, specifically, our evolving relationship with discomfort?
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There’s life beyond the infinite scroll. We put together a toolkit of habits, routines and products to help you live more intentionally.This Is a “Micro-Escape Behavior”
Why the stairs? When someone’s in my way during my commute I’m not that curious about the why of it all. I’m furiously thinking: Of course they’re on their phone right now; this selfish asshole’s probably always on their goddamn phone. But upon sober reflection — and some research into behavioral science — it’s not that simple.
If anything, people might be more likely to check their phones while chugging up the stairs. The action is an example of emotional regulation in the digital age, or to borrow from this University of Washington study, a “micro escape…from undesirable real-life emotions and situations.” The authors wrote: “Participants described turning to their phone during a wide variety of challenging states, both internal (e.g., boredom) and external (e.g., a dispute at work).”
A set of stairs, however brief, is an undesirable obstacle. For most adults, it rests somewhere on a scale between mildly irritating and physically taxing. You’d think most people would meet the stairs with focus and vigor, all the sooner to be rid of them. But instead, stairs seem to engender avoidance and withdrawal. Stair-texters offload their awareness, morphing into temporary zombies until the deed is done. How many of these people, I wonder, could tell you exactly what they read, learned or watched while marching slowly up the stairs?
The Phone as a Life Raft
This is part of a broader trend in smartphone use, with some researchers even probing the phone’s role as a modern “significant other.” Research suggests that adults develop different attachment styles to their devices, and some rely on them compulsively to manage “unpleasant emotional exercises.”
Does that describe a stairwell? Maybe not, but consider that throughout a day, an adult might now reach for their phone at the first sign of any discomfort or awkwardness — on the elevator, in a checkout line, while waiting for a bus, sitting in a lobby, at a dinner party. It’s a lunge for a frictionless life. The phone functions as a life raft anytime the present moment feels like a little bit too much.
Do these stair-texters even know they’re doing this? Maybe not. As Anna Lembke, a professor of psychiatry and addiction medicine at Stanford University School of Medicine, explained to The Washington Post, “The phones create a compulsive habit loop where we check without thinking.” Most Americans pick up their phones nearly 200 times a day, though surveys show they underestimate their usage.
My fear is that in exchange for a moment’s reprieve, we’re losing something of our humanity, of our shared experience. We’re positioning ourselves — our irritations and insecurities — at the center of the universe and blurring everyone else out to the periphery.
Lean in to Discomfort
I want to be mad at stair-texters (and disgusted with myself because surprise, surprise, I do it sometimes, too). But I’m a wellness writer and performative grouchiness doesn’t come that naturally to me. So I’ll conclude with a challenge instead.
Tomorrow, I want you to turn your brain on each time you approach a set of stairs. If you’re traveling with a bag or purse, perhaps your phone is already stashed away in there. If it’s in your pocket, don’t go fishing for it. Embrace the discomfort of the steps. Lean into the physical and mental challenge they offer. And if there’s no one shuffling in front of you, playing Candy Crush, drive your knees nice and high.
Something called vigorous intermittent lifestyle physical activity (VLPA), or a burst of concentrated one-to-two-minute activity, is literally one of the best practices for your longevity. The satisfaction of deleting a few emails can’t compete with that.
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