1. Color beats dog.
Dogs have difficulty seeing color. This is just science. In the West, expect the Harvard Crimson to beat the New Mexico Lobos. If by chance Syracuse plays Georgetown, the Hoyas will win, because technically Hoyas is a Latin phrase meaning "what rocks!" Or "such rocks!" Or "what, rocks?" Hell, they don't even know.
2. Historical figures beat more modern humans. Old man strength.
In the Midwest, expect Michigan State to trounce Valparaiso then run clear to the Final Four.
3. Americans beat Native Americans.
The historical record is unfortunately clear, even if this rule is less so, since we're pretty sure no Sooner ever killed any Aztecs. Regardless, Oklahoma State to win.
4. Hicks and hillbillies beat dogs.
Sad but true. The Hoosiers would defeat Butler or Gonzaga, if it comes to that.
5. Dogs beat cats beat rodents.
Another law of nature, or at least of cartoons. Expect losses from South Dakota, Oregon, Minnesota, Wisconsin and Michigan if they go up against any of the feline teams (Pittsburgh, Arizona, etc.), and expect the felines to lose to Butler and Gonzaga.
6. Hurricanes can't beat Big 10 and 12 schools because geography.
Expect big things from the Miami Hurricanes, who can run through every team in the field except Big 10 and 12 teams, because the Big 10 and 12 are landlocked. Meanwhile, the upstart Iowa State Cyclones will be the bane of the Midwest.
7. The Blue Devils lose because they are French
The nickname "Blue Devils" was given to “les Chasseurs Alpins,” a French infantry battalion. Nous nous rendons!
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