If Your Significant Other Forgot Their Passport, Would You Travel Without Them?

A Reddit post from the popular r/AmItheAsshole has users debating

Couple at Airport

“AITA for leaving my boyfriend behind and going on the trip with our friends?”

That’s the question, posted to the the subreddit r/AmItheAsshole subreddit, that’s had users in chokehold for the past eleven days as their pursuit for an answer continues (although, the general consensus is that the poster is not an asshole).

A little context, as first reported by Travel Noire: The Original Poster (OP) has been living with her significant other, Paul, for three and a half years. Paul is allegedly notorious for forgetting important documents and after doing so several times, OP assumed full responsibility for all of his docs.

“According to him, all documents have a digital version and that is enough, not all are digital (passport) and not all places accept the digital form, but he is stubborn and maintains this position. I don’t mind being responsible for the documents and most of the time, I have them in my purse,” she wrote.

Things went sour after one instance of Paul realizing that he required his physical documents, which OP had on her while at work. “He gave me a huge scolding, saying that their documents should be at home and told me to stop ‘holding’ his documents. I handed his documents over to him and said that I would no longer be responsible for this or warn him about it, because I was doing a favor for someone I love who is a capable adult (27),” she continued.

That said, when it was time for OP and Paul to take their international New Years trip, guess who didn’t have their passport? You guessed it. According to OP, Paul attempted the ol’ drive home to retrieve the forgotten passport but home was two hours away and Paul missed the flight. OP, who’d opted not to go with him, did not.

“In short, he didn’t arrive on time and I decided I wouldn’t miss my trip because of him. I turned off my cell phone and made my 12h trip,” she wrote. Consequently, Paul accused her — in not so many words — of being an asshole.

Now, in my household, I’m not necessarily the full-time identification keeper but I am the trip planner. Typically, that includes selecting a destination, doing all of the upfront research on that destination, booking flights and making reservations, as well as obtaining and retaining all necessary documentation right up through check-in. In short, all my boyfriend has to do is show up to the airport in time. I don’t fault him for it, either. It’s a polished process that his involvement would likely only hinder. That said, if in a fit of rage, he demanded his passport and then forgot that same passport ahead of an international jaunt that I had planned in full for him? He’s the asshole, full stop — a sentiment most reddit users apparently share.

“What he has done and continues to do, is called weaponized helplessness, and it is a no-win situation for you, no matter what you do. Keep your phone off and enjoy your trip,” one user replied.

Further, a 2019 Priority Pass survey involving just over 1,500 UK travelers revealed that men are more than twice as likely to forget their passport than women, with 8% of men admitting to having forgotten their passport, compared to only 3.78% of women — so it stands to reason that OP isn’t the first person to find herself in such a situation. The real kicker, though?

“I always make a list for our trips of what to take, his passport was on the list and he still forgot it,” OP later amended her post to read.


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