Portrait of the Husband as a Man Who Has Been Dragged to the Local Shopping Mall

"Miserable Men" Instagram proves men really do hate shopping

By Evan Bleier

 
Greatest Instagram of Our Time Is an Ode to Husbands Who Hate Shopping Malls
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08 July 2016

Twenty-six minutes.

That’s how long it takes before the average man gets bored while shopping. Quite frankly, that number seems high.

Now, we could hammer home this theory with statistics like that fact that 8/10 men admit they hate shopping with their partner, and 1/4 will even go home alone when they're bored.

Or we could just show you, courtesy of Instagram @miserable_men, an honest and unflinching portrait of what happens when guys who’ve been forced to go shopping at the mall stop being polite and start getting real.

... by falling asleep.

Even though he had an entire garish pink couch to himself, Gary was loath to lie out. 

Despite winning the lone chair and forcing Glen to sit on the floor with a pitiful pile of cushions, Randy was still pissed to be at the mall. 

Paul's sadness at being dragged to the flash sale carried over into his sleep, where he dreamed of choking himself.

Billy laughed at Ray's misfortune, never realizing his day in the chair was fast approaching.

Wade whacked himself in the face, furious his attempt to dress himself in a manner that would make Cindy force him to stay home had failed miserably. 

From that day forward, the sight of pink purses or floral print pants gave Jim night terrors.

The boredom of the impromptu shopping trip had the Colonel longing for his days of frying food for hours on end in a hot Kentucky kitchen.

His day of serving as Duffy and Muffy's drool bib turned Warren into a cat man, in spite of his allergy to felines.

Norm was the first man to lapse into a coma that summer at the shopping plaza, but he wasn't the last.

Todd sought out the toilet section at IKEA, realizing it was the only part of the store that would have a respectable receptacle for his tears.

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