Buffalo Bills Mafia Members Can Now RSVP to Slam Themselves Through Tables
Since it is 2020, the tables will be located in COVID-safe bubbles
Thanks to MyBookie, members of the Bills Mafia who wish to jump through tables and smear themselves with condiments but are also concerned about contracting COVID-19 have nothing to worry about.
In a development that would only exist in the weird fever dream that is 2020, the online sportsbook will be setting up a “bubble” for every Bills home game in Orchard Park this season.
Containing “a sanitized area for people to slam themselves through tables and spray themselves in condiments,” the bubbles will be available for bookings at specific times, similar to how you would make a reservation for dinner at a restaurant while that was a thing that was still possible to do.
It seems a little too tongue-in-cheek to actually be real, but, supposedly, bookings will be available here soon.
Previously, the team attempted to corral unruly fans in a “Tailgate Village” offering Bills Mafia members who arrived by bus a place to park and pregame safely.
“Our No. 1 concern as an organization is fan safety,” Buffalo VP of operations and guest experience Andy Major told The Buffalo News last year. “When you’re seeing what was happening in the bus lot the last couple seasons, especially last year, it gets very concerning. It’s dangerous behavior, not just negative fan behavior. It’s dangerous to security, the sheriffs and staff who are trying to police things.”
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