Cards Against Humanity Just Went Full Publishers Clearing House

Here, have a free lesson in income distribution

December 13, 2017 9:00 am

Cards Against Humanity’s initial plan to tackle income inequality involved eating all the rich people and moving into their homes.

Their lawyers advised against it.

So they turned to the next best thing. An operation equally ambitious, but less cannibalistic.

The beloved “party game for horrible people” just doled out $1,000 each to 100 of the 150,000 subscribers who signed up for the company’s recently minted Cards Against Humanity Saves America campaign. It’s the dastardly card co’s latest initiative to solve the manifold woes of the Stars and Stripes — they kicked off the effort last month by buying up a portion of land on the Mexican border in an effort to impede the President’s long-promised wall.

When Cards launched their campaign, they asked all those interested for 15 bucks, promising surprises down the line. That sign-up included questions about geographic location, demographics, occupation, health, medical debt … and pizza preference (to keep people off the scent). Cards then crunched the data: most (about 140,000) got nothing in return, 10,000 subscribers got a refund and the 100 folks who needed it the most got the check … creating an instant difference in the lives of 100 Americans. 

“This is too good to be true, man. I am floored. I will be spending the $1,000 to pay some medical bills I have going on, and to be able to travel for Xmas to see my sister and her kiddos, which I haven’t been able to do in years,” Ian from Idaho wrote. Other overjoyed recipients reported plans to use the money to address lingering college debt, hospital visits or recent lay-offs. But all seemed stunned that someone, somewhere  — a freaking card game, no less — wanted to help. 

Head over to Cards’s FAQ page for more info on their initiatives to improve the lives of everyday Americans. 

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