In case you forgot, Father’s Day is this Sunday. Also in case you forgot, you should probably buy a card.
According to typical Father’s Day greeting card availability, dads like a couple of things: beer, La-Z-Boy chairs and jokes about farting. But what kind of card is the best for your particular beer-drinking, chair-loving, farting dad? Fear not, InsideHook ventured to our local CVS and found a card for each of the dads in our lives.
GOLF DAD
So your dad likes golfing. Maybe he does it with you, maybe he uses it as an excuse to take a walk with his friends under the guise of “sports,” in either case this googly-eyed putter and golf pun riddled interior will get a good chuckle and a pass from mom.
FISHING DAD
This is a classy card. It’s wrapped, it’s 3D, it will look great on the mantle, alongside the rest of your dad’s best catches. Fishing dad is probably okay without an in-your-face Father’s Day card — but please be sure to write something touching on the inside.
STAR WARS DAD
Set aside the fact that there are some….questionable father figures in the sci-fi series, you know your dad likes Star Wars! He was (probably) alive in the 70s! He may or may not have collected action figures. It doesn’t matter, because this card is even holographic, bringing a touch of a galaxy far far away into your home.
HUNTING DAD
This one is confusing, we are not going to lie. Is it for dads who hunt? Or just dads that like deer heads mounted above the mantel? Who cares? We bucking love it, and he will too.
GIRL DAD
The coolest dads are the ones with daughters (at least in this writer’s opinion). So let him know that with this smiling, thousand-yard-staring Pomeranian in a tiara celebrating him as the “King” to your “Princess.” Not weird at all.
RELIGIOUS DAD
Even if you only go to church on Christmas (and maybe Easter) but you know your dad likes it, give him this card with a Bible verse from the most fun sounding book of the Old Testament. He may even think you actually pay attention during the services.
BEER DAD
This is the real shit: Dads love beer. Yours does. You probably drink the beer you do because your dad drinks it. Instead of a six pack, buy this card. He’s trying to cut back anyways.
BEER AND MONKEY AND LA-Z-BOY DAD
Here is our final card, and it’s a doozy. If you can’t decide if you want to commit to the beer card, and that’s totally fair. But this pop-up monkey in a lazy boy that’s ALSO drinking a beer? This is peak Father’s Day card cheese — so go all in and indulge.
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