Whip Smart

Deep in the cockles of your short and curlies, you know:

50 Shades of Grey is bullshit.

The problem with the film, which has warmed the love-starved hearts of many a dowdy schoolmarm, is that it casually associates hot sex with violence, but leaves out the important part.

As in: Communication. Consent. Maturity.

Your guide to all that: the Bedroom Badass Relationship Workshop Series, debuting March 15th and taking reservations now.

Presented by the popular sex-positive hosts at House of Scorpio, the BBRWS is about expanding and improving your intimate life while becoming an “emotional Superman.”

Held in a secret 3,000-square-foot loft in Gowanus, the series is led by Sean Simpson, a massage therapist and teacher of all things kink (his past coursework includes “Sensual Wax” and, um, “Knife Play”).

The goal for attendees: build a communications skill set for the bedroom.

Up for discussion: understanding your partner’s patterns and non-verbal cues, and creating comfortable boundaries.

The classes are a mix of lecture and practical exercises. From here, future classes dive into the physical, from “Non-Monogamy for Beginners and Experts” to “BDSM 101.”

Go and play nice.