Apparently There’s an Exact Age When You’re Too Old for a Nightlife

Pack it up, Generation X. We've got an early brunch.

July 20, 2017 9:00 am

“You know why you gotta settle down eventually? Because you don’t want to be the old guy in the club. Every club you go into, there’s always some old guy. He ain’t really old, just a little ‘too old to be in the club.’” — Chris Rock

And now we know that too-old age.

A new study by the British company Currys PC World suggests that 37 is the age when you’re too ancient to hit the club. And 31 is the age people start preferring to stay in as opposed to going out.

Other findings from the study, which went out to 5,000 Brits:

  • 60 percent said going out was “too expensive”
  • 46 percent of adults “dread social events or nights out”
  • 30 percent of those surveyed said a perfect night-in involves binge watching TV
  • 29 percent don’t go out because they don’t want a hangover
  • 14 percent said that, in lieu of going out, they invite people over to scroll through Facebook

Couple this with that other study that said we stop listening to new music at 33, and hey, might as well pack it in, right? Give the fun over to the Millennials, we’ll be (finally) working our way through The Wire and waiting to die.

But consider: This is a study conducted by an electronics retailer, one which had no problem touting how people like to stay in because of “latest technology, such as 4K TV” … which the company sponsoring just happens to sell. Cheeky.

Also, legendary British music mag NME thinks it’s rubbish, citing the age of club favorites like LCD Soundsystem’s James Murphy (47), Diplo (38) and DJ Khaled (41).

Our advice? Clubbing sucked at 21, 31 and 37 anyway. And you’re fine doing whatever you want … as long as you’re not those 14 percent of sad, sad people who scroll through social media with friends and count that as “socializing.”

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