Take It From a Woman: The Best Date Nights Are Over a Bottle of Wine. Here's Why.

I’ve always believed splitting a bottle of wine (or two) is one of the most romantic activities. My ideal first or second date would take place at a dark, intimate wine bar. We’d peruse the menu, illuminated by candlelight, and discuss our vino preferences, then wind up ordering the second least expensive bottle on the menu (because, of course). Cooking at home with your beloved and opening a bottle of wine you’ve been saving for a special occasion is also one of my favorite simple, but meaningful, date night plans. Regardless of where you do it, though, uncorking a bottle is a bonding experience between you and your date.

Singles are yearning for more of these IRL shared romantic experiences.

Last year, I reported on single people experiencing dating app fatigue. The gamification of once-popular dating apps like Hinge and Bumble has turned users into half-hearted swipers, who, instead of putting in the effort to seek a partner and a fulfilling relationship, are window-shopping. And even if you do find a match, it’s not guaranteed that it’ll translate into a real-life date.

Dating expert Ilana Dunn has a few solutions.

Dunn is the host of the popular dating podcast Seeing Other People — one of the top-ranked dating podcasts according to The New York Times. This past June, Dunn teamed up with Louis Jadot, the number one selling French wine brand in the U.S., to host a master class in the art of the meet-cute, where she helped singles step away from the numbing world of online dating and toward more intentional connections.

I recently had the chance to chat with Dunn on all things dating and wine. We discussed the current challenges singles are facing, how you can actually achieve a meet-cute, what to know before ordering a bottle of wine on a date and more, below.

InsideHook: For our readers who are unfamiliar with your podcast Seeing Other People, can you explain what the podcast is about?

Ilana Dunn: Seeing Other People has been going for four and a half years now. I started opening up online about how hard dating was and how that made me feel. At the time, no one else was really doing that before. There was this big gap in people opening up about how hard dating was. We felt like they were struggling, feeling like we were at rock bottom. With social media, it seems like everyone else can find love except for us. There must be something wrong with me.

So at the podcast, I wanted to continue to do that while also getting advice from expert guests, therapists, authors, communication experts, all these brilliant people who can actually give advice on how to date better. I also invite my listeners to share, usually anonymously, their real-life experiences and what they’ve been through as well. So it’s not just my story because I’m one person. We’ve all experienced so much in our lives that impacts our dating lives, our relationships and vice versa.

I wrote a piece at the end of last year about dating app fatigue. How would you compare that to the current-day dating landscape? Are people still looking for in-person connections? What are you hearing from your listeners?.

The number one question my listeners ask me is “How do I meet people in real life?” And the data says the same. Louis Jadot conducted a survey and found that nearly three in four active daters are feeling burnt out from apps. So on one hand, it sucks that everyone’s feeling that way. But on the other hand, you’re not alone. And the good news is, while people are feeling burnt out from apps, they haven’t given up. That same survey found that 93% of singles still believe in the magic of a meet-cute. So they are craving real-life connection. They don’t want to be swiping. They don’t want to be a profile anymore. They want to meet somebody in real life, in the wild and actually figure out do we connect versus, “oh, how do I spend 25 minutes crafting the perfect opening line that somebody may or may not respond to”?

I think one of the most romantic things you can do is split a bottle of wine with someone. So I’m curious, how can wine foster genuine connections in real life?

Wine is a part of real-world romance. It always has been. Naturally, there is something romantic about wine, and sharing a bottle of wine or sending somebody a glass of wine is an amazing way to strike up a connection. 47% of singles think the most romantic drink to receive across the bar would be a glass of wine. And I think it shows boldness. It says “I want to strike up a conversation with you,” even conversations about wine. Like, “What are you drinking?” Or “I can’t decide between a Chardonnay or Pinot Noir, what do you think?” That is an opening line that could lead to a connection, a life together, a funny story or just proof that you can do this.

People want more real-life connections, but how do they go about doing that? How do you make the first step? Buying someone a drink is a common way to do that, but I’m curious if you have any other advice for singles trying to meet people out in the wild?

The first step is actually going outside. At the event with Louis Jadot, I asked everybody to raise their hand if they wanted to meet someone in real life. Every single person in the room raised their hand. And then I said, “Raise your hand if you are holding your phone.” And every single person in the room raised their hand. I walked around and pointed out people sitting next to each other at the bar; they were turned away from each other. They had their phone in their hand. Their arms were crossed. People weren’t actually giving themselves the opportunity to be approachable or approach someone else. The biggest thing is making sure that you are looking around, you are focused and present on what is happening in this moment, what is happening around you, maybe even eavesdropping on someone else’s conversation. You might hear something and then you might be able to chime in because you connect with them on it. You might not realize that there’s somebody across the bar wearing a T-shirt that has your favorite band on it. Our phones are holding us back in so many ways. So truly putting your phone down is the number one thing that you can do to make a huge, huge shift in your ability to meet somebody out.

Take It From a Woman: This Is the Sexiest Drink You Can Order on a Date

We sat down with cocktail creator and influencer Julianna McIntosh to chat all things dating and drinking

Oh, awesome. I love that. So, you made it to the first date. If you wanted to order a bottle of wine for the table, do you think the man should take the reins and order a bottle? Do you think it’s more polite and romantic to have his date decide? Is it a mutual decision? I’m curious how you would recommend going about ordering that first bottle of wine?

I think, first of all, it’s 2025 and gender should not matter. If anyone loves wine, they should say that, or they could ask the person, “Oh, do you prefer red or white?” “Have you had Louis Jadot? It’s on the menu and it’s my favorite brand of wine.” Anything that shows you’re being yourself and you’re sharing things about you, that’s going to go a long way in terms of like your confidence that you’re exuding. It’s going to go a long way in terms of actually asking a question. That communicates to your date that this person cares about my preference. They’re not just ordering what they like. So I don’t think it matters who does the ordering, but I think the way you go about it can go a long way in terms of setting the stage and setting the table for how the rest of the date will go.

A lot of couples drink wine at home. Do you have any tips on how you can elevate a casual date night at home?

My husband and I aren’t the biggest wine people. We love drinking wine, but we don’t know much about wine. So we got a few different bottles — you can get a Chardonnay Bourgogne, a Pouilly-Fuissé and a Beaujolais Blanc — and do your own wine tasting at home, or even a blind tasting. You don’t have to be a sommelier. You don’t have to sense the notes in it, but just pointing out things you like and having that shared experience over wine can really be a bonding experience.

I want to ask you for some wine recommendations based on different scenarios. So, if you’re cooking dinner for your partner for the first time, what should you serve?

I would say a Chardonnay Bourgogne. It’s light, it’s fun and flirty. It sets the vibe that we’re gonna have a good night ahead. We just don’t know exactly what the night is yet.

Do you have a recommendation for a wine you can open during a special occasion like an anniversary or engagement?

It’s my birthday on Saturday. I used to be way more into white wine, but I absolutely love the Louis Jadot Beaujolais Villages. I told my husband, we’re having friends over, and I want multiple bottles of that. That is what we are celebrating with. Everybody loves it. It’s smooth, it’s romantic, it’s easy to sip on.

Say you just came home. It was a hard day. You’re telling your husband, “I just need a glass of wine.” What is he pouring you?

He’s probably pouring me a Pouilly-Fuissé, which is a little bold, but worth the risk. For me, I need that to snap out of whatever was bringing me down. It takes me out of the mindset that I was in before, and it’s like, okay, everything’s going to be okay.

Meet your guide

Logan Mahan

InsideHook’s Commerce Editor, Logan Mahan joined the team in 2019 and has had many roles since. She coined a recurring series at InsideHook called Take It From a Woman, where she offers InsideHook’s male readers style, dating and gifting advice from the perspective of a woman. She’s also an expert on all things women’s gifting spanning across multiple product categories: style, beauty, fitness and wellness, home and kitchen.