The Sexiest Hotel Stays, According to a Sex Writer

When the average person sets out to book a hotel for a romantic getaway, there are some key considerations that may come into play: cost, the distance between the hotel and the city center, and perhaps the room’s “vibes” and whether it feels intimate.

But when you’ve been writing about sex and relationships for the better part of seven years, your brain tends to rewire itself a bit. Finding a hotel for the sole purpose of focusing on intimacy with a partner becomes less about overall ambience and more about how each specific part of the room (and the hotel that surrounds it) can play a part in promoting pleasure, encouraging a sexy escape from reality and, of course, supporting some of the more adventurous sex positions you’re definitely going to try on vacation. (Don’t we all get a little freakier when we have hotel sex?)

Whether you’re booking a honeymoon, planning a Valentine’s Day getaway or simply feel the urge to sweep your partner off their feet for a sex-filled weekend, there are ways you can think like a sex writer and book the sexiest, most O-inducing stay. Here’s what to consider.

The Bed

While other surfaces come into play (more on that later), the bed is the most crucial part of any sex-forward experience. Do the sheets feel luxurious? Satin feels great on the skin but is extremely susceptible to prominent stains. How big is the bed? While you may think a smaller mattress promotes more intimacy, a queen or king gives you the freedom of space and accommodates for comfortable sleeping. Because who feels sexy when they’ve had awful sleep?

The Headboard

Even though it’s part of the bed, the headboard is a significant feature in its own right. I enjoy positions where my partner can sit up at a 90-degree angle while I get on top. A headboard allows them to have back support and me to have something to grab onto to control a rhythm. And for those who like to incorporate handcuffs into their play, a tufted or raised panel headboard isn’t ideal. Rather, something that can hold a cuff — a four poster, log or cutout headboard — is a better option.

The Shower

Shower sex has some mixed reviews, but even if you’re not a fan, the shower can still be an incredible place for foreplay. When I’m perusing through a hotel’s gallery, I’m immediately assessing the shower: Is it spacious? Is there a rain shower? Is there a glass door so I can give my partner a peep show before sex? While it’s definitely not a deal breaker, a shower can be at the center of a lot of sexy moments between you and your partner that lead to even better sex in bed.

Standalone Tub

This isn’t always available, but I am a slut for a standalone tub. In fact, one time I booked a very shady two-star motel in Avenel, New Jersey, solely because I wanted to take a romantic bath with my partner. While water can actually worsen lubrication and make for not-so-great sex, making out with your partner in a sudsy tub is a sexy experience we all deserve.

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Mirror Placement

If you’ve never had sex in front of a mirror, I need you to add that to your bucket list immediately. There’s nothing quite like watching yourself be pleasured (and give pleasure!) during the throes of passion. And though it may be harder (but not impossible) to find mirrors on the ceiling in a lot of hotels, there are other ways mirrors around the room can play to your benefit during sex. While fung shui specialists may disagree with me on this one, a mirror facing the bed is a great way to amp up any sexual experience. Even that mirror on the closet door can be a prop for a fun moment.

The Sink and Toilet Durability

Sure, this isn’t exactly something you can call the front desk and ask about, but I will say I’ve definitely taken note of when a hotel room has a large, sturdy sink (and toilet to match). Having sex on vacation typically means breaking out of the mold of your usual sexual routine. So if you’re getting ready in the bathroom mirror and your partner wants to get things started from behind, a sink to grab onto and a toilet you can place your foot on top of can make a huge difference. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t press my weight against a sink when entering my hotel room to get a better idea of what would — and wouldn’t — be happening in that bathroom later on.

The Bathroom Door

If I know a hotel features the idea of a bathroom door rather than an actual, full-fledged door that separates the bathroom from the bedroom, I won’t even bother booking the room. I know — we’re all human and we all use the bathroom, but if I’m trying to create the most comfortable environment for myself to feel sexy, I’m going to need a little more mystery than a glass door when I’m going number two.

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The Number of Surfaces

At home, my bed takes up the majority of my room, and my other furniture doesn’t exactly make for great support. So when I’m looking into a room that will create a sensual atmosphere, I consider the number of surfaces I can have sex on. If the room has additional furniture like a desk, chair or couch, I know I’ll have more options to switch things up.

The Windows

If there’s a little bit of an exhibitionist in you or your partner, you might want to take a look at your hotel room’s windows. Having sex up against a glass window and running the risk of being seen adds an intense level of excitement. If that’s too much for you, something as simple as keeping the blinds open while going at it in bed is enough to increase the thrill of a sexy moment.

The Amenities

Your hotel room isn’t typically the main destination when you’re traveling. But if you’re looking to just get away for the sole purpose of having great sex with your partner in a new place, there’s nothing wrong with never leaving the hotel. If this is the case, make sure the hotel you’re booking comes with amenities that add to your sexy experience. I typically look for bars with dim, intimate lighting, jacuzzis and hot tubs, and even a gym (breaking a sweat together can do wonderful things for your libido). While you can’t necessarily have sex in these places, they’re all contributing to a sort of foreplay that eventually finds its way to the room later on.

Some Sexy Stays I’ve Loved

Moxy Brooklyn Williamsburg

If you’re due for a sexy staycation, the Moxy Brooklyn Williamsburg is the place to do it. While you may not assume that a hotel with an industrial-inspired look may be conducive to romance, the Moxy creates a sense of fun and playfulness that definitely translates into the bedroom. Plus if you’re a city girl like I am, the urban-forward design makes you feel like you’re getting away with a tryst in the middle of the workday.

The Moxy Williamsburg features the Jolene Sound Room and the LilliStar Bar, both places you can be surrounded by intimate, moody lighting. And when you’re leaning up close against your partner listening to some of Brooklyn’s hottest DJs, you’re going to want to take the party back to your room, where you can even request a record player and vinyl LPs to keep the party going.

But one of the sexiest parts of a stay at the Moxy (especially around this time of year) is that they partner with Shag, a Brooklyn-based sex boutique. So it’s safe to say they know sex — and they’ll teach you, too. Taking advantage of its offerings, I dropped into one of their couples’ Shibari classes. After the three hour class, I have never been so grateful to have a room ready a few floors up.

NIZUC Resort & Spa

Stepping into NIZUC Resort & Spa in Cancun, Mexico it what I imagine walking into paradise is like. Aside from the surroundings — beaches, clear water and open air — the inside makes you want to derobe and let go.

With candlelit dinners, couples massages and rituals, and private villas, you feel like you’re alone on the ocean with your partner. I’m not usually a resort person when I travel abroad (I like to experience a new country more authentically), but when it comes to going away to reconnect with a partner, this is the place to do it. I could go on and on about the live Cuban band, reflective pools and romantic ambiance, but odds are you’re probably not going to want to get off your partner the entire time.

19th Century Palace

While this stay in Fes, Morocco, doesn’t have an official hotel name (it’s titled “Typical apartment in a 19th century palace”), it definitely deserves an official spot on my list of the most romantic, sexy stays.

For those who are turned on by luxury (guilty), this stay makes you feel like royalty, without the price tag. The hand-carved ceilings, mosaic walls and velvet drapes around the bed will make you want to lay back and let your partner feed you grapes — or anything else. With additional living room sets and surfaces, you’ll never run out of places to indulge in your pleasure. And best of all? After you’ve spent all night (and morning) ravaging your partner, you can wake up to a home-cooked breakfast on the palace grounds.