It’s Time to Step TF Back From the Baggage Carousel, People

I can’t remember the last time I was at an airport and wasn’t forced to consider the possibility that maybe I am the crazy one.

When waiting to board, for example, the gate agent comes over the loudspeaker to kindly ask everyone who isn’t in boarding group one or two to stay seated, which invariably seems to signal to the overwhelming number of passengers in groups 3-6 that they should make their way to the front of the line posthaste. I am, in almost every case, enraged, and less so because it poses any serious inconvenience to me personally, but rather because someone — an employee! — has just explicitly asked them to do the exact opposite of what they are now doing. Spoiler alert: If you’re in boarding group six, you’re going to board with boarding group six. They’ve already announced it’s a full flight and that you’ll need to check your bag, so boxing out the passengers who are entitled to board only serves to slow the entire process down. You paid for a seat, it’ll be there for you…when you board four groups from now. Sit down.

This particular subject is one that travel writers, industry types, frequent fliers and frankly everyone else with a brain love to complain about, which is a large part of the reason I am so easily miffed by it — how is it not yet universally understood?

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A far less talked-about example of this infuriating kind of airport behavior is when people stand as close to the baggage carousel as physics will allow. Thanks to a Reddit post from a Melbourne woman who took another passenger to task for standing in front of her while she waited for her luggage — originally reported by the New York Post — it has become internet fodder this week. And I’ve got time today.

“I returned to Melbourne last night on an international full flight, and the lack of self-awareness from some people was astounding,” the post reads. “Despite the clear signs instructing passengers to stay behind the yellow line at baggage collection, many ignored them, standing right in front of it.”

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“As someone who is on the shorter side, I already struggle to see over a 6 ft. grown man,” she continues. “After taking this photo, two more people stood directly in front of me. At that point, I firmly said in a loud voice, ‘Stand behind the yellow line; it’s there for a reason.’ Thankfully, they moved. Seriously, what is wrong with people? There’s plenty of space around — why stand right in front of me? Rude AF!”

Now, to be fair, the lion’s share of commenters agreed with the original poster, echoing similar sentiments, leading me to believe I am very much in the correct camp on this one. But in the event that my position is not expressly clear — and I’m going to say this as delicately as possible — if this is something you are guilty of, you are an asshole.

I will concede that there are probably a few exceptions. If you’re traveling with a hoard of small children, at least one of which is likely screaming/crying/throwing up, get yourself to the frontline. Get yourself up onto the carousel if you need to! But understand that that is simply not the reality for the bulk of the people jockeying for a prime spot at someone else’s expense. And truly, what is more infuriating than needing to push your way through a mass of people to get to your luggage, let alone missing said luggage because they haven’t gotten out of the way fast enough?

It begs the question: Have we so little regard for our surroundings and others? These are not new concepts — waiting for your boarding group to be called, standing a few feet back from the baggage carousel and, for whatever absolute savage needs to hear this, not racing to the front of the plane immediately upon landing — so why is it that we can’t all agree to respect them? Would it not make for an overall better experience for everyone?

Or am I the crazy one? Are we all?!