Members Only

By The Editors
April 1, 2013 9:00 am

You get fitted for suits, hats, shoes – even golf clubs.

Everything’s gotta feel right; right?

But nobody’s fitting you in the most important area: the one, as our Aussie friends say, “down under.”

Time for your intimates to measure up, via Junk Mail, accepting orders now.

Designed by a talented husband-and-wife duo — he’s a former NASA engineer, she does something with social media — Junk Mail ships custom-fit undergarments direct to your door.

There are three ways to get your undies:

1) Send in your measurements (ask your local tailor; ignore his perplexed stare – or uncomfortable enthusiasm).

2) Guesstimate via the “Crotch Matrix” tool on JM’s website.

3) Take advantage of Junk’s “Bespoke” program, wherein a certified briefsmith will come to your home to take a slightly invasive, but highly necessary 3D-measurement of your nethers.

With your measurements in hand (so to speak), the JM team will send the design to a master crotchstitcher for construction. All briefs feature a handknit y-front fly with a discreet tag labeled XL, regardless of actual size.

A pair of custom-fitted skivvies will arrive once a month, or you can opt for the ‘Shorts in a Bunch’ package — $39 for six pairs.

Plus, Every JM arrives with a bottle of champagne and a tin of hand-ground talcum powder.

It’s a whole new ball game.

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