Even if you’ve never had a prostate exam before, chances are you probably associate that organ with the gloved hand of a medical professional and the bright, sterile lighting of a doctor’s office. But while the prostate may indeed be the cause of some uncomfortable doctor’s visits for men of a certain age and/or genetic predisposition, it turns out that walnut-sized little gland buried in your butt might also be the key to better orgasms — and it doesn’t stop there.
Often referred to as “the male G-spot,” the prostate is a little bundle of nerve endings that make it super sensitive to touch, a male pleasure center tucked away deep inside your groin. Those who have experienced the joys of prostate stimulation often report more intense, full-body orgasms and shorter refractory periods that may even unlock the ever-elusive possibility of multiple orgasms.
“Folks with prostates report that prostate stimulation and orgasms are often more intense and longer than penile ones, and they can be felt throughout the whole body,” says Zhana Vrangalova, PhD., NYU professor of Human Sexuality and sexpert for LELO. “One of my male friends who loves his prostate orgasms said to me once: ‘If you have a prostate and you’re not using it for pleasure, you’re wasting a perfectly fine organ.’”
So, uh, why might so many lucky prostate-havers be wasting this perfectly fine organ? Unfortunately, hesitation to explore the carnal joys of the prostate, particularly among straight men, is largely the result of lingering homophobic narratives and taboos surrounding anal play. Take this societal stigma and compound it with a resounding lack of quality sex education, and many people are simply unaware of the potential pleasure to which the prostate is home.
“Sadly, receptive anal play is still a taboo, especially for straight or mostly straight men, who often see it as a ‘gay’ thing that’s not for them,” says Vrangalova. Fortunately, “Sexual behaviors don’t have sexual orientations, only people do, so if you’re not attracted to men, you’re not gay, no matter how much you like butt play.”
Great. Now that we’ve cleared that up, here’s everything a lucky prostate-haver — whether gay, straight or otherwise — needs to know to unlock the prostate pleasure center.
What is the prostate?
But first, biology.
“The prostate is a walnut-size gland located between the bladder and the penis,” says Gerhard Poppel, clinical sexologist and co-founder of The Swann Center, an organization offering inclusive sexual education and training. “The urethra runs through the center of the prostate, from the bladder to the penis, letting urine flow out of the body.”
Part of the male reproductive system, the prostate is “important for reproduction as it produces part of the seminal fluid found in the ejaculate that contains a number of substances that keeps sperm fed and moving,” adds Vrangalova.
Most importantly, or at least most importantly for the purposes of this article, the prostate is full of highly sensitive, orgasm-friendly nerve endings, not unlike the female G-spot to which the prostate is often compared.
“It’s super sensitive to touch and often stimulated to help achieve orgasm,” says Lawrence Johnson, co-founder and CEO of Pure for Men, a wellness brand founded by and designed for gay men. “Think of it like a nipple for your bottom region.” Or don’t, if that feels like a weird visual for you. The point is, the prostate is an erogenous zone that you can tap into for extra arousal and enhanced orgasms. According to Vrangalova, the best way to access it is through the anus: it’s located about two inches in, toward the front of the body.
What does a prostate orgasm feel like?
Those who have perfected the art of achieving a prostate orgasm usually sing its praises as an ultra-intense, full-body orgasm. “What many might call an ‘orgasm on steroids,’” as Johnson puts it.
Like any orgasm, though, you have to experience it firsthand to really know what it feels like. “Prostate stimulation delivers a pretty unique sensation that has to be experienced to best understand,” says Johnson.
While every body is different, one thing you can expect is that it will feel different from the penile orgasms you’re probably used to. “The prostate is connected to deeper, visceral nerves that cause a more full-body, radiating sensation, while the penis is connected to somatic nerves that go straight up the spine, resulting in a more localized sensation,” says Kenneth Play, international educator and Sex Hacker, and creator of the Sex Hacker Pro Series.
Still, you can’t expect to reach that super intense, full-body orgasm on the first try. “Prostate orgasms will be subtle at first and foreign, because it’s new,” says Play. Like any unchartered sexual territory, mastering the prostate orgasm takes time and experience. “Eventually it feels more like a full-body sensation that radiates through the body and feels like your entire body is orgasming.”
Also, a prostate orgasm doesn’t have to be just a prostate orgasm. One of the benefits of unlocking this alternate route to climax is that it also opens up the potential for blended orgasms, which can provide yet another entirely unique form of pleasure.
“I personally think prostate stimulation is a great compliment to penis stimulation and can make orgasms feel twice as powerful because the feel-good sensations are coming from every angle,” says Fabian Prado, Johnson’s Pure for Men co-founder.
But the benefits of unlocking this extra level of orgasm don’t stop at physical pleasure. “Learning to experience this can transform your relationship to your body and even help you understand female pleasure far more deeply,” says Play. “Women/people with vulvas also have multiple pathways to orgasm and experience different kinds in different ways, and by experiencing your own various pathways, you can really learn what they are experiencing first-hand.”
How to have a prostate orgasm
So how can you unlock all this full-body orgasmic potential? The answer, of course, is through your butt. But before you start poking around in there, it’s important to know what you’re doing. As with any sexual experience, a bad first time can turn you off for a long time. To ensure your foray into prostate exploration is smooth and pleasurable, the experts have some advice.
1. Start solo
While prostate stimulation can absolutely be a very satisfying addition to partnered play, it’s always best to get to know your own body first before trusting your most tender parts in someone else’s hands.
“I recommend masturbation rather than partner play to start this exploration because you have a direct feedback loop,” says Play. “Without having to instruct someone else or worry about being comfortable, things are much simpler and more effective.”
You can use your fingers during solo play if you can reach, but beginners may find it easier to start with a prostate massager specifically designed to hit the right spot. Vrangalova recommends the LELO Loki, while Play suggests the nJoy Pure Wand.
If you’re not ready to venture up the butt just yet, Vrangalova recommends starting out with less direct stimulation by pressing up against the perineum, ideally with a vibrating toy.
2. Relax and warm up
“Broader, more full-body sensations from the deep visceral nerves tend to be something that you need to relax to feel deeply, and relaxation is the key to multiple orgasms,” says Play. As with any sex act, it’s also important to make sure you’re adequately stimulated before going in full steam ahead.
“Put on your favorite porn, or whatever you normally do to get in the mood,” says Play. “Start stimulating your penis to get to a certain level of arousal before anal penetration, because otherwise it can feel like a medical exam.”
If you’re using a toy, make sure to prepare that appropriately too, preferably with plenty of lube. Play recommends using the small end of the nJoy Pure Wand, which can be run under water and warmed for a more comfortable, less clinical experience. “Move the toy around until you find the right spot, then use a rocking motion with your wrist joint to rock the nJoy against the front wall of the rectum, applying pressure to the prostate,” says Play.
3. Start with a blended orgasm, then work your way up to more prostate-centric pleasure
It takes a little time and experience to teach your body how to experience new forms of pleasure, which is why Play recommends prostate newbies begin by incorporating prostate stimulation into their regular masturbatory routine.
“Start playing with the toy until you feel some sensation on your prostate,” says Play. “The next step is to combine prostate stimulation with your regular masturbation habits. The first goal is just to have a blended orgasm while stimulating your prostate.”
If you want to dive further into more prostate-specific pleasure, Play recommends moving forward with the same technique, but gradually weaning yourself off penile stimulation as you approach orgasm.
“Use stimulation of the penis to increase arousal, but as you get closer to orgasm, decrease or stop stimulating your penis and keep stimulating your prostate,” says Play. “Keep trying to edge yourself to orgasm, but try to get your prostate to be the one to push you over the hump. Instead of tensing, relax deeply and focus on your prostate and the sensations from stimulation.”
Once you do manage to get over that hump, a brand new world of orgasmic bliss awaits, including multiple orgasms. According to Play, some men find that after a prostate climax, their penis stays hard. “If you continue to masturbate by touching your penis, you can immediately have another orgasm,” says Play. “Eventually, you can have more and more orgasms.”
Essentially, if you’re not having prostate orgasms, you’re missing out big time. As we’ve established, you should never waste a perfectly fine organ — especially one that can give you multiple orgasms.