Guy Designs Yearlong 70-Degree Road Trip for People Who Hate Weather

Here are the (perhaps unexpected) highs and lows

By Michael Howard

 
Guy Designs Yearlong 70-Degree Road Trip for People Who Hate Weather
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20 July 2016

If you fancy yourself A) a world-roaming adventurer, but also B) a person who gets a little verklempt when thermostats spike beyond 70, you’re in luck.

Well, mostly bad luck, but today’s your day.

Alaskan climatologist Brian Brettschneider mapped a one-year North American road trip upon which the temperature is always 70. So you can now explore the Lower 48 without ever having to leave the comfort or excitement of room temperature.

The best part: all of the obscure unpopulated regions you’ll get to explore for weeks on end.

From the southern tip of Texas to northern Minnesota, follow Brettschneider for the major city stops. But don’t forget to hit all these BFE American hotspots that also fall along the route.

January 1 — Begin in Brownsville, Texas, where you can remember the Alamo. That didn’t happen here, but some other battle in the Texas Revolution did.  Now start walking north.  Only four months to get to Oklahoma!

April 1 — One month to tour Oklahoma through North Carolina sounds about right. Rent a car. Head east. Don’t forget to hit Evansville, Indiana, on the way. Evan: super friendly.

June 2 — Kennan, Wisconsin. Population: 135. But it’s 70 degrees, so who cares!

July 1–September 1 — Alright, two months in Canada in summer actually doesn't suck at all. This part can stay, Brettschneider.

October 1 — Nebraska; finally! Do you like corn on the cob? Popcorn? Corn necklaces? How about the surprisingly gorgeous women of rural America? Seriously, what are they feeding them? Oh, right.

November 23 — You know what  three of the worst-ranked colleges in the country means, right? Prescott AZ has just that. Excellent beer pong accoutrement and snarky Starbucks workers.

December 28 — This epic of faint tempratures ends in weatherless San Diego.

But if finding 70-degrees is really your life's pursuit, just, you know, move there.

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