Sex & Dating | May 17, 2022 12:47 pm

I Have Some Questions About Megan Fox’s Jumpsuit Crotch Hole

The star says she and MGK cut a hole in her outfit to have sex. But, uh, why?

Megan Fox (L) and Machine Gun Kelly attend the 2022 Billboard Music Awards at MGM Grand Garden Arena on May 15, 2022 in Las Vegas, Nevada.
These two again
Mindy Small/FilmMagic

Over the past year or so, Megan Fox and Machine Gun Kelly have established themselves as the new Will and Jada Pinkett Smith, in that we regularly receive TMI updates about their sex life that no one really asked for. Now, in addition to details about their blood swilling habits, Fox has taken it upon herself to let us all know that she and the twin flame soulmate she claims to have “manifested” recently cut a sex hole in a blue jumpsuit she wore. If you don’t know what a sex hole is, it’s a hole that you cut into the crotch of a garment so you can have sex while wearing it — or you do if you’re Megan Fox, apparently.

Tucked into a series of photos from the event that Fox recently shared on Instagram was a screenshot of a text conversation in which the star asked her stylist if the blue jumpsuit was expensive, “because we just cut a hole in the crotch so we could have sex.” Naturally, this unsolicited information raises a few questions.

Look, I obviously understand why Fox felt compelled to share this information with the world. Oversharing to the point of cringe is basically her and MGK’s entire deal. What I don’t understand, however, is why they felt the need to actually do it in the first place. I can think of zero reasons why cutting a hole in a jumpsuit to have sex would be necessary or even particularly desirable, and several alternatives that could have spared this innocent article of clothing the needless violation.

One option might have been for Fox to simply remove the jumpsuit before having sex, which, while not particularly creative, would probably have been a lot more efficient. That’s literally what being naked is for. The only reason anyone bothered inventing clothes was so that we could take them off and have sex with each other.

But I get it, sometimes the outfit is part of the turn-on — hence the existence of lingerie — and there’s certainly something hot about the gotta-have-it-right-now sex where you just remove the minimum amount of clothing and go to town with your clothes on. Still, there’s a difference between ripping open someone’s clothes in the heat of the moment and making the conscious choice to cut a crotch hole — which I can only imagine must be an awkward, not particularly efficient process that probably involves stopping to go find scissors and then laying there with your legs splayed pap-smear style praying Machine Gun Kelly doesn’t accidentally snip your clit off. Could be just me, but none of that sounds particularly arousing.

Last but not least, if Megan Fox really wanted to have sex in a jumpsuit, she didn’t have to go the DIY route. Apparently, she didn’t get the memo, but Kim Kardashian literally invented a crotchless catsuit widely speculated to be for this exact purpose like two months ago. Frankly, while I appreciate the commitment to oversharing, I ultimately find Megan and MGK’s jumpsuit stunt kind of a bust. It strikes me as inefficient, unnecessary, awkward and potentially dangerous, and I award them zero points for this one.