Do We Really Need Pre-Peeled Avocados and Digital Wallet Chains?

7 things our dads would be embarrassed to know exist in 2016

By The Editors
March 21, 2016 9:00 am

Your correspondent is all about embracing modernity to make things simpler, save time and improve overall quality of life.

That said, there should be limits to how much we rely on things to do stuff we should be doing ourselves. Automating your life comes at a price: namely, that a little accountability and common sense are skills you may need someday, and practice makes perfect.

Here are seven products that a man — even a modern one — who has his s**t together doesn’t need. They might be flashy, even practical, but your father would have been embarrassed to own ‘em. And we think you should be, too.

Headspace: An app that helps you meditate and connect with others. Irony much?

Image via GoBone

GoBone: A Shake Weight-esque doohickey that will play with your dog for you while you control it from your phone. Your dog will probably love the thing. But will he love you?

Image via Caribu

Caribu: A digital book accessible via a remote video call. Endearing in theory? Sure. But should you be encouraging your kid to stare at a screen before bedtime? No.

EvenFlip Campfire Cooker: This cooking fork eliminates the need for you to get near a fire while cooking things evenly. But this is life, man. S**t happens. Goldfish die. Hot dogs get burnt. You eat ‘em, cook another and move on. The hot dogs, we mean.

Image via Walli

Walli: A smart wallet that connects with your Android or iPhone and alerts you when it’s been left behind. We’ve got an alternative method of safekeeping: know where your damn wallet is at all times — that thing’s important. If it’s Walli or a wallet chain, this may be the one time wallet chain wins out.

FILLD: In order to let you avoid having to pump your own gas like a plebe, this startup delivers straight to your tank for a $7 surcharge. Like a broken elevator, this is wrong on multiple levels. For one, gas is under $2 a gallon right now. For two, if you are driving a car around, you have time to pull over at a gas station and fill your tank.

And finally, please stop buying pre-peeled fruits and vegetables. Take out your garbage, put on your pants one leg at a time and peel things yourself. ‘Nuff said.

Social image via Nathalie Gordon

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