A Comprehensive Guide to Hangover Cures

As told by health gurus, hop farmers, rock stars and more

May 5, 2017 9:00 am

At the date of this publication, it is Cinco de Mayo.

If you’re celebrating, varying degrees of inebriation are likely to be involved. So as a custom that transcends culture and country, we thought we’d help you out with the inevitable aftermath: the hangover (or la resaca, in the native tongue).

Since no two imbibers are alike, we’ve compiled a truly comprehensive guide to hangover cures, as told by 12 experts across a spectrum of ages and professions. From a pole dancer to the co-founder of a hydroponic hops farm, a Danish magician to a touring musician, this is how you bounce back from a good old-fashioned tie-on.

Photo: Mark Shelby Perry 
Marcy Richardson, 37
Aerialist, Pole Dancer, Vocalist
“I drink at least one vodka martini followed by two glasses of wine every day, and have for years, so it’s pretty rare that I get hungover! I keep tons of water by my nightstand — I’m talking at least two SodaStream bottles. I sometimes drink them both by the time I wake up. Hydration is key. In the rare case that I do wake up with a hangover, there’s nothing like good old-fashioned diner food to take care of it. Something like an omelette or a burger with salty, hot fries, a ton of ketchup, side of coleslaw, hot coffee, chased by a real Coke — not diet — over ice. It’s rare that I eat that kind of stuff, but I give myself permission if I’m hungover!”

Ari Meisel, 34
Co-Founder of Leverage Virtual Assistants
“The night of, I take activated charcoal capsules, and that’s usually all it takes. If it’s a really bad situation, then I’ll order an on-demand IV of fluids and glutathione from The IV Doc.”

Allie Pohlad, 30
Health guru and co-Owner of TRUCE
“Honestly, it’s simply this: coconut water. Ideally raw. With perhaps a side of eggs and greens. I used to think it was a big greasy breakfast, but I was wrong.”

Rasmus Malmstroem, 31
“If I know I have an upcoming potential hangover-inducing night, I always try to plan the next morning as well. No reason for early meetings or activities. Instead, take your time. My friends actually founded the Mikkeller Beer Running Club, which is now in more than 150 cities around the world. The concept is that we meet up, go for a run and have beer afterwards. Perfect way to get rid of your hangovers.”

Erin Kayser, 24
Co-Founder of Round Table Hops, a hydroponic hops farm
“If it’s really bad, a lemon-lime Gatorade. If it’s not so bad, a room temperature lime sparkling water. I follow my beverage with a few Aleve and a good teeth brushing. Then I lie around and whine until I feel better — 30 minutes usually does the trick.”

Jeffrey Rowles, 42
Filmmaker, Associate Producer of I Don’t Feel at Home in This World Anymore (2017 Sundance Grand Jury Prize winner)
“Being as excited about one’s morning activities as we are about our nighttime ones is the best cure I’ve found (i.e., having something to live for). But my go-to remedy is: a pint of lemon water, fresh juice and a cup of coffee, followed by an exercise or activity that’s both physically exhausting and fun. Thus, trading out the toxins in your body for oxygen, serotonin and fresh emotions. Take a shower, eat your breakfast and go on a bender of (non-alcoholic, no-sugar) beverages and water. And if you’re still not feeling right after all of that, have a cocktail, read a book and call it an early night.”

Photo: Blake Studdard
Travis Linville, 39
“I look to the kitchen of my Korean girlfriend. Haejang-guk translates to ‘soup to chase a hangover.’ Just about any spicy Korean soup will do. Maybe one with a few slices of congealed ox blood.”

Gunthar Reising, 21
Junior at the University of Minnesota
“I think there’s only one way to compensate for a dirty, lowly night at the campus bars, and that’s by eating a dirty, greasy meal the next day. For this I go to McDonald’s and order two McDoubles and two McChickens. They used to both be on the Dollar Menu, so you could get around 90g of fat for just over four dollars, but recently they’ve raised the price of the McDouble, which is a damn shame. If it’s still breakfast time, then I’ll sometimes get a McGriddle — the syrup-infused pancake buns never disappoint. I usually get coffee with my food. No matter how unappetizing it may sound, the grease and the buns have a way of settling the mixed alcohols from the previous night, better than any sketchy green drink you see on TV.”

Spencer is second from right. Photo: Radek Piechuta
Spencer Alexander, 27
Bassist for WYLDLIFE
“My tried-and-true method for killing a hangover is more beer. I’m not talking some double IPA dork beer: the lighter the beer, the better. High Life, Bud Light, Coors Light, whatever. You want the alcohol but you also want the water. I’ve often pondered why this method works so well, and I’m no scientist, but I think it’s the fact that your body consumed so much alcohol the night before and it’s just jonesing for more. So keep the party going and crush another beer. Extra points if you blast ‘Hair of the Dog’ by Nazareth while doing it.”

Kevin Shiuan, 28
Senior Product Manager at MassRoots, a cannabis industry startup
Wana Gummies at 2mg every couple hours after I wake up until I feel close to normal again.”

Danny Agnew, 37
Creative Director (and resident gonzo booze journalist), InsideHook
“It’s beer-and-a-shot nights that get me. For some reason when I order them together, my brain magically glosses over the fact that it is, in fact, two drinks. Four rounds in, I’m eight drinks deep and, well, you know what they say about Pandora and his box. [In the morning], I run. If I drag myself up and sweat it out, it gets my endorphins going and I just feel better overall. That being said, literally nothing beats [redacted] if you have them. That sounds terrible, but those babies will kill even the gnarliest booze flu deader than a f*cking disco. They’re like a hangover elephant gun.”

Kieren Taylor, 34
“There is no cure. Drinks loads of water before you go to bed and sleep it off. Actually, that’s wrong. There is a cure. Be young.”

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