What man wouldn’t want to drive a tank — a steely behemoth capable of destroying anything, from the deadliest German Panzer to the dorkiest Michael Dukakis.
Live that dream at Drive-a-Tank, which puts you behind the treads of surplus Cold War tanks and armored personnel carriers.
[callout] … crush junk cars and fire vintage machine guns [/callout]
After a crash course in mastering the tank’s steering column (it’s essentially two sticks), you’ll be whisked over to a 20-acre wooded lot where you’ll man tanks in simulated combat driving situations, i.e., navigating rough terrain via a periscope.
The adventure ends on a date with “Larry,” a 60,000-ton Chieftain Main Battle Tank that you’ll drive over junk cars, crushing them like the Democrats’ chances in ‘88.
Bonus fun: Although the tank’s turrets have been effectively neutered, you can shoot off some vintage machine guns at the camp’s indoor firing range.
Half-day Drive-a-Tank packages (perfect for “families and wedding anniversaries”) are available now through the end of October for $399 and up.
For $3,500, Drive-a-Tank will also let you lay waste to a mobile home — a heretofore unpublicized option that offers the rare chance to enjoy being a home wrecker.
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