If you’re a bride-to-be in the 21st century, you have endless resources at your disposal. There are bridal influencers, bridal magazines, bridal apps, bridal TV shows, bridal Facebook groups and Pinterest boards. If you’re a man looking to tie the knot, you’ve got…your dad and maybe some friends who took the plunge before you, if you’re lucky.
That’s where we come in: The Groom’s Guide is our expert-led handbook for men who’d like to have a real hand in their nuptials. We’ve got advice that’ll help you nail the engagement ring like Patrick Dempsey in Sweet Home Alabama, express your love like Billy Crystal in When Harry Met Sally and dress the part with confidence like Al Pacino in The Godfather. If that’s not striking a chord, try this: we want to ensure you don’t end up at the altar in an ill-fitting suit reading off drivel that’ll guarantee your 15 minutes of fame, and a marriage that’ll last about as long.
Contrary to everything you’ve ever been told, planning a wedding doesn’t have to be a bore or a chore. As a happily married man approaching my fifth anniversary (email me for the best address to send gifts!), I speak from experience when I say that whether it’s popping the question, writing your vows, rounding up your buds for a bachelor party or finding special moments for you and your partner in the middle of wedding-day chaos, it all can and should be a joy.
Weddings aren’t actually about creating that picture-perfect Platonic ideal of “a wedding” — they’re about the love between two people who are damn lucky they found each other. If you can learn to love the marriage process, too, you’ll be starting your new life off on the best possible footing.
Admittedly, finding pleasure in the process is easier said than done. That’s why we called in favors from every conceivable expert to advise you on your journey from ring shopping to the last dance. We spoke with jewelers, wedding planners, speechwriters, etiquette authorities, tailors, cocktail pros, even the Weddings editor from The New York Times. And if you find your friends are indeed lacking in actionable tips, I went ahead and asked a group of recently married men about the one thing they’d do differently if they could redo their wedding. As it turns out, there’s no advice like fresh regret.
If you recently proposed and feel in over your head, this guide is for you. If you’re a groomsman with an affianced pal who could use some help, there’s guidance in here for you both. If you have yet to get down on one knee — back straight, legs at 90 degrees! — go ahead and bookmark this. Weddings may be evolving with the times (and the AI tech), but the advice here? As you’ll see, it’s like a groom in a well-tailored black tuxedo: timeless. — Alex Lauer, Features Editor
Forget Diamonds, Get Her a Gemstone Ring Instead
Diamonds will do just fine, but you should know their place in engagement jewelry is recent — and the result of a brilliant marketing ploy. In the early 20th century, the diamond company De Beers launched an advertising campaign that reframed diamonds as the essential symbol of eternal love, coining the slogan “A diamond is forever.” By promoting the idea that men should spend two months’ salary on a diamond ring and seeding the message through Hollywood and magazines, they turned diamonds from a luxury option into a cultural expectation.
Gemstone rings have a much more storied history. They started to adorn plain bands in the Middle Ages and Renaissance, and many of them had different meanings: sapphires symbolized fidelity, rubies implied passion and emeralds denoted fertility. Queen Victoria’s engagement ring was famously shaped like a snake with an emerald head and ruby eyes. I’m obsessed with my own emerald solitaire engagement ring, and it seems like more women are becoming open to the idea of a gemstone. But before you start shopping the colors of the rainbow, make sure it’s also your soon-to-be fiancée’s preference. — Amanda Gabriele
How to Write Better Vows, According to a Screenwriter
How to Write Better Vows, According to a Screenwriter
The Case for a Bespoke Wedding Suit
Your big day calls for a big suit. Off-the-rack tailoring will get the job done, but there are pitfalls. “If the shoulders are too large, it can look like you are wearing someone else’s jacket,” says Rachel Hamel, a tailoring specialist at Enzo Custom. “If they’re too small, you get what I call the ‘double shoulder.’” No one wants double shoulder on their wedding day.
A made-to-measure, or better yet, fully bespoke suit will not only elevate your look, but your confidence. Virtually every detail can be personalized when you go the custom route, and it’s often less of an ordeal (and an expense) than you might think. Prices can start under $1,000, and depending on the availability of fabrics, might take as little as four weeks. “Sometimes it’s a better deal than an off-the-rack suit,” Hamel says. At the very least, it’s worth a consultation. — Paolo Sandoval
Three Great Suits for Guests to Wear to a Wedding
Nota bene: All products in this article are independently selected and vetted by InsideHook editors. If you buy something, we may earn an affiliate commission.
$ Buck Mason Tropic Twill Carry-On Jacket and Ford Standard Pant
With its unfussy fabric, just-formal-enough detailing and accessible pricing, Buck Mason’s Carry-On suit makes for light packing and heavy wallets. This new “tropical twill” iteration is especially adept at repelling wrinkles…and dominating the dance floor.
$$ A Kind of Guise Shinji Linen Suit Jacket and Tailored Wide Trousers
Unlike the happy couple, guests are typically afforded some wiggle room with the dress code, particularly when it comes to destination weddings. The kimono-inspired tie and shawl-collar finish on this jacket make the wearer an instant contender for best-dressed guest.
$$$ J. Mueser Waverly Double-Breasted Wool Suit Jacket and Pleated Wool-Twill Trousers
A wedding is a great excuse to splurge on a new suit. For those interested in a versatile and sophisticated silhouette, the double-breasted, Italian-made Waverly Suit from New York-based tailoring operation J. Mueser is one of the finest off-the-rack jackets on the market.
How to Avoid Viral Wedding Embarrassment
1. Fix your proposal posture
Your knees should be at a firm 90-degree angle and your back should be straight. Absolutely no curvature. Practice beforehand and look at yourself in the mirror.
2. Read your vows for a trusted confidant
You may think you wrote the most romantic, hilarious or unique wedding vows, but you need to get a second opinion. An outside perspective will help you understand if a comment is falling flat, or a nail in the coffin for your relationship. Even professional writers have editors!
3. Avoid the cake smash
Unless you want to be publicly shamed by everyone you know and millions of people on the internet, it’s best to abstain entirely.
4. Practice your first dance
Sure, do a fun dip or spin with your partner on the dance floor. Just make sure you rehearse it a few times on your own to prevent any accidental injuries or embarrassment.
5. Is the game on? Doesn’t matter.
It’s your wedding day, you moron! Don’t be a sitcom cliché. — Joanna Sommer
5 Wedding Day Essentials, Upgraded
QR Code | Replaces: Wedding hashtags
Why it’s better: Today, hashtags feel dated and not especially practical. Instead, use a platform like Wedibox, POV or WedUploader to generate a custom QR code tied to a shared album so guests can scan it and upload photos and videos in real time.
Honeymoon Fund | Replaces: Registries
Why it’s better: Today, about 70% of couples live together before getting married, making traditional registries feel unnecessary. Try an experience fund, like honeymoon registries through Zola and Honeyfund. Newlyweds may not need new china, but they could all use a vacation.
After the Tone | Replaces: Guest books
Why it’s better: Services like After the Tone let guests leave voice messages on rented vintage rotary phones, which are later edited and delivered as a digital file, USB or even a vinyl record. Will you get a handful of alcohol-fueled professions of love? Yes. Will it be more fun than a guest book? Absolutely.
ToastBooth | Replaces: Formal speeches
Why it’s better: Between the best man’s long-winded war stories, the maid of honor’s obvious ChatGPT script and the drunk uncle who got his hands on the mic, wedding toasts can get dicey. To avoid the risk, go with a service like Voast or ToastBooth so all guests can take a crack at recording short video messages, which are later edited into a keepsake film.
Social Video Creators | Replaces: Videographer
Why it’s better: Wedding videos sound great, but in practice they’re not watched all that often. Services like Wedding Day Content Creator send a crew to capture video designed for social media, which will be edited and ready to post within 24 hours. All that footage usually finds its way to Instagram anyway. — Lindsay Rogers
The Art of the Groomsman Watch
If you want the perfect watch recommendation, you call James Lamdin. The founder of Analog:Shift, a marketplace for vintage and pre-owned watches, can steer you towards a starter chronograph or ‘40s rarity with equal aplomb. His expertise even extends to the ultimate groomsman gift.
His first tip? Engrave the caseback, which can turn a pedestrian timepiece into a token “you could never bring yourself to part with.” He recommends vintage pieces with blank casebacks, like mid-century Longines, IWC and Movado models, because nowadays “everybody’s trying to put everything on the back of their watch to tell you how special it is.”
If you’d rather go brand new, he’s got options at any price point. — Alex Lauer
UNDER $1,000
Caravelle Sea Hunter by Bulova
“The perfect entry price point. Automatic diver-field vibes, and a nice open caseback.”
$1,000 TO $5,000
“I think you have to go Tudor, if for no other reason than almost everything they make has plenty of real estate.”
OVER $5,000
“Oyster Perpetuals are less, but both of those are amongst the most in-demand models. Even if you have the money, it doesn’t mean you can get the watch.”
How to Create a Standout Signature Cocktail for Your Reception
“Think of the signature cocktail as a storytelling opportunity,” says Mercedes Vasquez, the founder of Pour Society Nashville. “The best wedding cocktails feel intentional and incorporate meaningful details to the couple, such as their favorite vacation destination, family pet or nods to their love story.”
Vasquez suggests offering two options, one for each spouse, to show the two personalities and feature more variety on the menu. “I recommend using different spirits as the base for each drink,” she says. You’re also going to have to work with the venue and vendor. If your original idea is too elaborate, think instead about presentation. “Custom cocktail picks, clever names and elevated garnishes are small components that pack a memorable punch.”
Remember, your special-day speciality drinks can slow down the bar team. If you want your guests to spend less time in line and more on the dance floor, see if batching cocktails is an option. — Kirk Miller
Meet your guide
