Is it Safe to Have Sex During the Coronavirus Outbreak?

If you can't touch your face, what (and whose) body parts can you touch?

Please don't waste masks on horniness.

We all know we’re not supposed to touch our faces in these coronavirus-riddled times, but what body parts can you touch — on yourself and others?

While the CDC is too prude to tell us, Vice‘s Hannah Smothers is not. Because sex like pets, travel, pregnancy and many of the other things the CDC has deemed fit to formally address in corona-context — is a normal part of everyday human life, Smothers did a deep dive into everything we need to know about love (and sex) in the time of coronavirus. Here are some highlights. 

1. You don’t necessarily need to stop dating, despite Tinder’s much publicized coronavirus advisory. While you should exercise reasonable caution and avoid going on dates if you’re feeling sick or experiencing symptoms, this, as Smothers points out, is a normal thing you should be doing regardless of whether or not there’s a viral outbreak. Please keep your sick hornies to yourself.

2. Should you kiss your date? While the New York Times says kissing could “definitely spread” coronavirus, avoiding it altogether seems like a pretty harsh and lonely way to wait out the end times. As a more liberal alternative, Smothers suggests exercising extra caution when it comes to selecting your makeout partners. “Perhaps avoid making out with anyone who’s recently traveled to or through an area with a high number of cases, or anyone who’s on quarantine and waiting to see if they’re infected,” she suggests. Coronavirus may also be a good reason to think twice before making out with some stranger at a bar, in case you needed another one.

3. Should you go home with them? Okay, so you made out with the stranger at the bar anyway. Now what? While the Times reported coronaviruses aren’t typically sexually transmitted, the WHO said it’s too early to tell if that holds true for this particular virus. So, uh, enter at your own risk. Oh, and you might want to watch where you’re entering. Researchers have suggested the reason coronavirus spreads so rapidly is because it can be transmitted via feces, so maybe consider putting butt stuff on the back burner for a bit.

I assume we’re all thoroughly turned off at this point and probably never want to have sex again — coronavirus or not. But just in case you do, one last word of advice from Smothers: Please don’t try to corona-proof your genitals with hand sanitizer. 

Also, hand sanitizer isn’t lube.

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