A Condom in a Tree Confirms This Is, in Fact, the Horniest Season of “The Bachelor” Yet

A testament to just how low the horniness bar for "The Bachelor" really is

Apparently a condom in a tree is all it takes to render a season of The Bachelor impossibly horny.
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Since its premiere last week, season 25 of ABC’s The Bachelor has been rumored to be the horniest of its kind. This isn’t exactly a difficult thing for a new season of the long-running reality show to accomplish, as The Bachelor franchise has long represented a weirdly sanitized exploration of human sexuality that masquerades as scandalous reality TV while upholding sufficient conservative values to remain in middle America’s good graces. Sure, the whole premise of the show hinges on a polyamorous relationship between one man and a veritable harem of women all living together in one house, but it’s all done in the pursuit of good old fashioned monogamy. Oh, and don’t worry, historically we’ve been promised none of these people are having sex, except maybe a few of them towards the end, and if any of them do it before then it will be quite the scandal indeed!

Nearly 20 years into its run, however, The Bachelor finally seems ready to dispense with the veil of chastity. The first episode alone featured vibrators, lingerie and a reference to the ever-feather-ruffling ode to female sexuality, “WAP,” prompting various outlets including the New York Post and the Daily Beast to dub this season the horniest yet. Now, the owner of the show’s luxury shooting location, the Nemacolin resort in Pennsylvania, has come forward to confirm that things have, in fact, gotten pretty horny over there.

According to the resort’s CEO, Maggie Hardy Knox, “sex and love is in the air” at the property, and condoms are in the trees. “We actually found a used condom in the tree branch,” Knox told Page Six.

“Sometimes there’s some hanky-panky going on where it should not have been, but I can’t tell you everything that was going on,” she told the outlet. “We are on 3,000 acres. So there’s a lot of land, and a lot of woods out there. There were things going on inside and outside of the hotel all the time.”

What exactly those things entailed remains to be seen, hopefully, on this, the presumed horniest season of The Bachelor, but certain prophylactic evidence seems to suggest tree sex was among them.

Admittedly, vibrators, condoms and references to an extremely popular pop song are still a pretty sanitized version of horniness in this, the year 2021. But for a network television show that just two years ago devoted an entire season to its male lead’s virginity, I suppose a tree condom is quite provocative indeed.

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