Bill Belichick Is Going to Write a Very Boring Book

Readers will just have to get through the upcoming tome one page a time

Bill Belichick speaks to the media.
Bill Belichick speaks to the media after being fired by the Patriots.
Maddie Meyer/Getty

After years and years of literally saying as little as possible at every opportunity when he was given a chance to speak his mind and share his thoughts, former New England Patriots coach Bill Belichick is planning on writing a book, officials briefed on his plans told The Athletic.

Considering he’s no longer officially affiliated with any organization except possibly the American Association of Retired Persons, it’s fair to wonder who exactly those “officials” might be, but the idea of the 71-year-old writing a book seems logical enough, and he certainly wouldn’t be first football coach who benefitted from having a generational quarterback to parlay that advantage into being an author. It’s also apparently fair to wonder what the forthcoming Belichick book, which has already been linked to Simon & Schuster’s Avid Reader Press, will be about.

“The nature of the book is not yet fully known. In light of how he was represented in Apple TV’s recent documentary, his side of his legendary nearly quarter-century run would be of great interest,” per The Athletic. “However, Belichick may just write about his views on leadership or a topic in that genre.”

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Thing is, Belichick is still just 15 games short of passing Don Shula on the NFL’s all-time wins list (including playoffs) and there’s every reason to believe he wants to shatter that record and re-write the league’s history books. In order to do that, Belichick will have to convince another NFL team to give him a job and, at minimum, two seasons in charge. If he writes the kind of tell-all book that football fans would enjoy and actually be entertained by, the odds of that happening would likely be reduced significantly.

So, the piece of literature that Belichick produces will probably be something about leadership (as previously suggested), business or maybe even public speaking. What it won”t be is interesting, revealing or the means by which we finally discover why exactly Malcolm Butler didn’t play in the Super Bowl against the Eagles.

Belichick may one day write an interesting, revealing book that spills the tea about Butler’s Super Bowl benching, but it isn’t going to before he gets another head-coaching gig in the NFL. And, if Belichick somehow never gets hired by another NFL team (which once seemed impossible but is now certainly in play), the six-time Super Bowl winner’s tell-all book may never come. Stranger things have not happened.

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