As we’ve previously established, the sky’s the limit when it comes to places you can do the sex. As Eleanor Roosevelt or somebody once said: if you can dream it, you can have sex there. You can do it in a car, a hot tub, on the beach or even, as I’m sure any proud mile-high clubbers would be happy to confirm, on a plane.
For sky-sex enthusiasts who don’t want to bother with the hassle of boarding a plane en route to an actual destination just to get their plane sex on, the Love Cloud presents a perfect alternative to a cramped hookup in an airplane bathroom. Recently featured in the New York Post — because where else? — the Love Cloud is a private jet couples can charter to fly them around aimlessly over Las Vegas while they get it on in the back. In other words, it’s a sex plane to nowhere, and you can board for just $995.
The first grand will get you 45 minutes of aerial intercourse, but if you can extend the trip to an hour and a half for $1,495 if you so desire. The cabin is outfitted with a twin-size bed that can apparently accommodate up to six guests at once, if that’s your thing, complete with red satin sheets and a sex pillow — AKA one of those handy little pillows designed to be placed under hips and other body parts to provide support and help you nail the perfect angle of penetration in various sex positions. Essentially, it sounds like what I can only imagine the interior of Hugh Hefner’s Big Bunny jet looked like in the ’70s.
By the way, the Love Cloud also comes with one bonus feature: a pilot named Anthony who knows exactly what’s going on back there and can apparently track your every thrust based on the plane’s movement. “As the plane sways,” he told the Post, “I often know who is where and who moved first.” Creepy! Unless you happen to have an exhibitionist streak — which, if you want to have sex on a tiny plane with a pilot directly in earshot, I guess you have to.
But don’t worry, Anthony says he would never try to get in on the action even if he’s invited. “It’s a one-pilot plane and I can’t leave the cockpit,” as he told the Post. “I love sex, but I love flying even more.”
Good for Anthony. May we all find something we love as much as Anthony loves flying strangers around in his sex plane to nowhere.