When Tim Duncan announced his retirement from the NBA on Monday, the internet — outside of San Antonians and Spurs fans — responded with a collective and uninspired “Oh."
The fanfare over the departure of the 19-year veteran and five-time champion was nowhere near the public outpouring of emotion that occasioned another five-time champ's (Kobe Bryant) announcement that the 2015-16 season would be his last.
While Duncan equaled or surpassed Bryant on the court by most measurable statistics, the Big Fundamental’s cachet away from the hardwood has never, and will never, approach the Black Mamba’s.
So why exactly is that?
In addition to being a 15-time All Star and two-time MVP, Timmy also happens to be the most boring athlete of his generation … and we have proof.
Here’s a little bit more about Old Man Riverwalk, courtesy of a delightfully preserved interview he gave when he was 27.
Before Duncan played basketball … He was a competitive swimmer.
The U.S. Virgin Islands native’s middle name is … Theodore.
His favorite television is show … Is a tie. Martin and Seinfeld.
His favorite actor is … Kevin Spacey.
If could have any pet in the entire world, he’d go with … A dog.
His favorite book is … Jurassic Park. (He really enjoyed it.)
His favorite Ice cream is … Gold medal ribbon flavor.
His favorite board game is … Monopoly.
If he could have one wish granted, it would be … Good health.
In his spare time, he likes … To relax and play video games. (“I spend lots of time online.”)