Do you crave a no-strings-attached hookup?
You’re not alone. Studies show that there exists an identifiable DNA strand predisposing some of us to promiscuity.
But we decided to take things to the court of public opinion, by asking 15 real, live, sex-having women for their thoughts on the matter. One-night stands: Have you? Would you? Why?
And also: Why not?
Frances, 32, Creative Consultant
Married and very stoked about it
“I’ve had them. But also no more ... because I'm married. Everyone needs a good break off. So annoyed STDs ruin this concept because it should be a physical right. Live your life! Have some sexual freedom and fun! Not every man/person needs to be someone you think you could marry.”
Zosia, 32, Print Manager
Single and half-assing it
“Do. Not. Have. Them. Used to frequently. Wouldn't again. There are certain things I was able to do in my 20s that don't fly in my 30s. Eating a movie-sized box of Raisinets for lunch. The place where you can buy three dollar dresses on Broadway. St. Ives Apricot scrub. Averaging four hours of sleep a night. And one-night stands…”
Katie, 29, Film Producer
Single and currently focusing on no. 1
“I have once. With a cowboy. It could not have been better. So I’m a little afraid to try it again for the sole fear of bursting the bubble.”
Layla, 31, Graphic Designer
Living happily in sin
“Not anymore, but I did. I hope I don’t have to again. I like to know someone well. For me the sex is better and I feel less self-conscious. Also the guy doesn't know what gets me off, so it ends up being pretty one-sided and I end up unsatisfied. Or I end up giving an hour-long BJ. You don’t want to be the lame one-night stand where the guy didn’t get off. And I don’t miss having a stranger in my bed with the awkward mornings trying to get them out or the dreaded walk/taxi drive of shame.”
Otto, 34, Magazine Editor
Coupled up and in it to win it
“I’ve never had the great pleasure of notching the one-night stand on my belt. I’ve tried. They always come back for more. I want to think I’m a real hellcat in the sack. But in truth, fellas just love to f*** and so do I.”
Bethany, 28, Model/Actress
Single. Why do you ask?
“Not a fan of the one-night stand. For me (and most women I talk to) sex is only enjoyable if I trust and am on an intimate level with the person, which usually only comes after at least 3-5 dates and some quality time. At this point in the game, I’m looking for more. Not to say it hasn’t happened. Definitely wasn't an amazing experience. Alcohol was very much involved. And it left me more empty than beaming with joy. It happened because there was an attraction and I was hoping I'd see the guy again ... which didn’t happen.”
Andrea, 30, Producer
Madly in love
“I'm all for it if you can deal! Some chicks can be sensitive about these things. It's all about expectations. If you know exactly what it is going into it and are cool with that, then hell yeah!”
Stella, 32, Personal Assistant
Getting pretty domestic
“You could say I am pro one-night stands, but only if you are doing it for the right reason — which can only be to satiate your own sexual desire — not to benefit or please the other person in any way (except for the fact that they are doing it with you and therefore might experience some reciprocal pleasure). Basically, I have had good ones and bad ones. The good ones get you laid and the bad ones make for a great story.”
Winona, 29, Interior Designer
There isn’t time to explain
“If I was one of those man-eating women that could have sex without getting attached I would totally say ‘Yes,’ but I'm not that cool. And I've learned this from the one-night stands I've had that have left me wanting more, the victim of the guaranteed oxytocin takeover. If I'm attracted to somebody to the point that I want to have sex with them, then I'm already in too deep for a casual encounter. Because I will want seconds … and thirds.”
Lily, 27, Marketing Coordinator
Single — some days more than others
“Less into them these days but never say never. One-night stands can be a big ego boost and a really fun time if you've snagged the right person. In my experience, the best hookups are with people you've had a good long flirtation with, but for whatever reason, you haven't gotten together.”
Shelly, 28, Grad Student
Nobody got time for that
“Definitely done it. The oddest thing is that I will go on a rampage and hit it and quit it once a week for a month and then have a sexual dry spell for 3-4 months. It's such a mixed bag of results. Generally, the sex is f***ing awful and not worth opening up my body for men raised on porn with the stamina of 60-year-old in poor health.”
Brit, 33, Graphic Designer
Single, looking lightly
"Yes I have. Generally disappointing. Pro: gettin’ ass. Con: scary out there with STDs and again ... s***ty sex.”
Jean, 30, Financial Services
Six years single and fucking exhausted
“This is what living in the city is all about. The ease with which you can drunkenly meet and hook up with someone you're perfectly okay with never seeing again. Have done. Probably would again. Cons: clingers/stalkers, later finding out you're actually way more socially connected than you realized and last but not least — shame and regret. All of these cons are easily avoided if you only f*** a random on vacation in another country. And for the love of God — do NOT connect on social media.”
Ariana, 37, Marketing
Single, in the game
“I have. I maaaaybe would again. Who knows? It's such a situational decision. There's no denying how sexy a spontaneous, charged one-night stand is — the forbidden aspect, the possible anonymity, the power ... the feeling you could do or try anything without strings attached. The con is a one-night stand with someone you have feelings for. That is a recipe for disaster.”
Sonya, 35, Event Producer
Married. Awesome at it.
“Yes, I have had one-night stands. No, I don't have them now. Yes, I would do it again. They are great to live out an adventurous evening into the next afternoon with a stranger who you know you'll never see again. Both get their rocks off and nothing is lost in my opinion. You can try new things. You can be someone you normally aren't and actually figure out what you like sexually/mentally in a partner. It's like a sampling ice cream until you find the right flavor and commit to a favorite.”