Because life doesn’t come with an instruction manual — and if it did, men wouldn’t read it anyway — we present Gimme Three Steps, an occasional series of how-to illustrations to help you manage challenging situations with aplomb.
It’s officially shoveling snow season.
And this is a good thing, for many reasons.
It’ll get you outside. Winter outside is pretty!
It’s a great excuse to quote The Simpsons’ “Mr. Plow” episode.*
And: shoveling snow is — no joke — one of the best workouts you’ll ever get.
With that last thought in mind, we present How to Shovel Your Way to Handsomeness.
With snow shoveling, you’re attacking not only your driveway, but also almost every major muscle group: shoulders, quadriceps, glutes, biceps, triceps, back, abs.
Moving 20 pounds of snow per shovelful, you’ll burn 300-400 calories in 30 minutes. Not bad.
Just remember: start slow, then work faster.
Get an early jump on things. Do the car first.
And stretch. Before and after.
Forecast says: you and your driveway will be fit in no time.
At least until this afternoon.
* “Hi, I'm Mr. Plow. Are you tired of having your hands cut off by snowblowers, and the inevitable heart attacks that come with shoveling snow?”